[For the complete script, see: "A Fistful of Meg" at the Transcripts Wiki]

Meg: He's going to kill me! I can already picture my funeral!
[Cutaway to a graveside service, Peter runs in and throws Meg's dead corpse under another casket]
Peter: Thanks, didn't want to pay for the hole.

[Meg looks to Chris for support against Michael Pulaski]
Meg: Chris; you have my back, right?
Chris: I don't know, let me check. [lifts up his shirt and sees his back covered with bacne] Yeah.

Peter: Hey, Brian, can you come here a sec?
Brian: Sure, Peter, what's up?
Peter: You're a well-read guy, right?
Brian: Well, I don't know. I guess when I read my Henry David, I tend to be pretty Thoreau.
Stewie: Shut up!

[Brian is sitting on the sofa, shivering. Stewie is sat next to him]
Brian: Ah, cold. Well, it worked, thanks for your help, Stewie.
Stewie: If I knew you were actually going to do it, I wouldn't have suggested it. You look like my foot that time Lois made my bath too hot.

Meg: Oh, fudge!
Voice: Only I didn't say "fudge", I said "fuck."

Student: [Meg gets pretty face by Michael's punch] He punched her pretty! [Michael punches Meg back to normal face] Oh, he punched her ugly again!

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