- [Stewie gets benched with multiple other abandoned side characters]
- Peter: Don't worry, we'll put you in soon.
- Fouad: Oh-ho-ho! It's funny because you won't be back!
- Brian: Alright Stewie, time to tackle your fears. Now, it sounds like you're scared of monsters, so to help you get over it, here's Frankenstein.
- [Chris comes into the room, dressed as Frankenstein]
- Chris: Ugh, I'm Frankenstein. I'm actually really nice. There's no need to be scared of me. Arrrrrgh!
- Stewie: Seriously? This is obviously Chris in a costume.
- Brian: Huh, well that can't be possible because here comes Chris walking in the door right now.
- [Meg comes in the room, dressed as Chris]
- Meg: Hey, hey, hey! Here comes Chris Griffin! A rootily toot toot!
- Stewie: Yeah, okay, whatever Meg.
- [Mayor West comes in the room, dressed as Meg]
- Mayor West: Meg? You must be talking about me. A rootily toot toot!
- [Stewie looks out the window and sees a long line of characters dressed as the people in front of them]
- Stewie: [To Brian] Do they all say "A rootily toot toot?"
- Brian: A lot of them, yeah.
- Stewie: You and I will place these cranial impulse receptor caps on our heads, I shall begin my slumber and...
- Brian: And then this thing will actually allow me to enter your dream?
- Stewie: That's right, Brian. I want you to come inside me while I'm asleep.
- Brian: No, don't say it like that.
- Stewie: Your job is to stop these nightmares by finding that monster and killing him. This isn't a job for the meek, Brian. When you get in there, you've got to be hard.
- Brian: Okay, but that felt intentional.
- Stewie: [In the form of Elmo] Hi, Brian! Elmo speak bad English on educational show! Ha ha ha ha ha!
- [Stewie and Brian come across some dancing, cartoon farm animals with genitalia]
- Stewie: Aaaaaah! That one trip to the petting zoo really messed me up! I saw too much!
- Student: Ha ha! Stewie's naked!
- Stewie: What? [The other students laugh] Oh my God! Don't look! Don't look! Cell phones down! Cell phones down!
- Lois: Damn it, Peter, are you guys playing lawn darts in the attic again?
- Peter: No. Yay! Lawn darts! Peter wins lawn darts! She's dumb; she got no idea.
- Tom Tucker: Adult stuff. Adult stuff. Adult stuff. The world is scary. Adult stuff. Adult stuff. Scary people yelling at another part of the world. Adult stuff.
- Elmer Hartman: I would've been here sooner, but one of my legs is a snake that's very hungry for mice.
- [After Brian throws a syringe at the monster]
- Elmer Hartman: Nice shot. Get it? Shot? All right, bye!
- Stewie: [To Brian] You've been more of a father figure to me than the Fat Man ever has been or ever will be. Look, I know I'm always busting your balls, but it's just because you're the only person in this house whose judgment actually matters to me.
- Quagmire: I might need two weeks off from this friendship.
- Stewie: [Sarcastic] Oh, I sure hope the dog approves of who I am. I'm outta here, weirdo. There's a wedding dress out here covered in shit.
- Tom Tucker: Coming up, a map with a hurricane on it and [demonic voice] you don't know your STATES yet!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// A Lot Going On Upstairs's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 13 | Family Guy Season 14 | Season 15 >> | ||||||
| #01 | Pilling Them Softly | #08 | Brokeback Swanson | #15 | A Lot Going On Upstairs | |||
| #02 | Papa Has A Rollin' Son | #09 | A Shot in the Dark | #16 | The Heartbreak Dog | |||
| #03 | Guy, Robot | #10 | Candy Quahog Marshmallow! | #17 | Take a Letter | |||
| #04 | Peternormal Activity | #11 | The Peanut Butter Kid | #18 | The New Adventures of Old Tom | |||
| #05 | Peter, Chris, & Brian | #12 | Scammed Yankees | #19 | Run, Chris, Run | |||
| #06 | Peter's Sister | #13 | An App a Day | #20 | Road to India | |||
| #07 | Hot Pocket-Dial | #14 | Underage Peter |
| ||||