- [Joe is taking small talk class]
- Joe: It sure is cloudy today.
- Joe's teacher: Good, you could have also responded to Janet, who said her son died.
- Joe: I'm sorry your son died on such a cloudy day.
- [Peter shoots a shadowy figure, which is then revealed to be Cleveland Jr.]
- Peter: Cleveland Jr.?
- Cleveland Jr. Mr. Griffin! You shot me!
- Peter: Oh my God!
- Lois Peter, where are you? Peter? Okay, I'm starting The Good Wife without you.
- Peter: Phew, heh. Unlike you, I dodged a bullet.
- [Dr. Hartman comes into the room with Cleveland Jr. and his parents]
- Dr. Hartman: Okay, next is the Brown family...
- [He notices that they heard him]
- Dr. Hartman: Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. Sometimes, I write descriptions of my patients to help me remember them.
- Cleveland: No, it's okay. Our last name is Brown.
- Dr. Hartman: Ah, okay. Phew. Oh, so this must be Chubster Dumb Dumb.
- Donna: You wouldn't have fired that gun if he was white!
- Peter: That's not true, I'll shoot anybody. Joe, give me your gun.
- Joe: Here you go...hey wait a second!
- Brian: I don't think it's lost on any of us that the laws are written on white paper.
- Stewie: Yeah, white paper. Check your jacket pocket.
- [Brian finds a note in his pocket and reads it]
- Brian: "I don't think it's lost on any of us that the laws are written on white paper." Hey, look. I'm just saying. It's no surprise that justice isn't color blind.
- Stewie: Check your other jacket pocket.
- [Brian reads the other note]
- Brian: "Hey, look I'm just saying. It's no surprise that justice isn't color blind." Stewie, you're a jerk!
- Stewie: Check Chris' pocket.
- [Brian sticks his hand in his pocket]
- Brian: What? There's nothing in here and...Oh, God! The bottom of the pocket's been cut out!
- Chris: Thanks, Brian. I was the mastermind behind this whole thing.
- Brian: Boy, the world we live in, huh?
- Chris: Brian, reach into Meg's pocket.
- Meg: Go ahead, Brian.
- Brian: I...I don't wanna.
- Peter: Hey, how ya feeling there, champ?
- Cleveland Jr.: I'm good. Getting better every day.
- Peter: Oh, I'm happy to hear that. Look, I hope you know. I'm sorry.
- Cleveland Jr.: Hey, these things happen.
- Cleveland: That's my boy.
- [Cleveland walks away]
- Cleveland Jr.: Mr. Griffin?
- Peter: Yeah?
- Cleveland Jr.: Just so you know, I'm gunna be coming for yo ass.
- Peter: What's that now?
- Cleveland Jr. I'm saying it's on. You ever feel the cool steel of a switchblade, pressed against your temple? [Laughter] Hey, Mr. Griffin, I'm just kidding...or am I? You're gunna be wondering about that, ya fat bitch. See you later!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// A Shot in the Dark's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 13 | Family Guy Season 14 | Season 15 >> | ||||||
| #01 | Pilling Them Softly | #08 | Brokeback Swanson | #15 | A Lot Going On Upstairs | |||
| #02 | Papa Has A Rollin' Son | #09 | A Shot in the Dark | #16 | The Heartbreak Dog | |||
| #03 | Guy, Robot | #10 | Candy Quahog Marshmallow! | #17 | Take a Letter | |||
| #04 | Peternormal Activity | #11 | The Peanut Butter Kid | #18 | The New Adventures of Old Tom | |||
| #05 | Peter, Chris, & Brian | #12 | Scammed Yankees | #19 | Run, Chris, Run | |||
| #06 | Peter's Sister | #13 | An App a Day | #20 | Road to India | |||
| #07 | Hot Pocket-Dial | #14 | Underage Peter |
| ||||