[For a complete script, see: "Amish Guy" at the Transcripts Wiki]

Man: Sorry sir, there's a weight limit on this coaster.
Peter: Oh...really, what's the limit?
Man: The rule is you can't look hilarious on this motor scooter. [Peter sits on the scooter with legs face in opposite direction] Haha-ha...I'm sorry, there's just no way.

Man: Hey baby, do those legs go all the way up?
Legs Go All The Way Up Griffin: Why yes, they do.
Man: Ahh!! Oh my God, you're a monster! [drives off]
Legs: [gives chase] Come back! My legs are shaved like a little girl!

Lois: I can't believe we're stuck in Amish country.
Stewie: I thought something was a-mish.

Lois: We can't be part of a feud with the Amish!
Peter: I didn't start this thing, Lois! But I'munna finish it! [goes into the house and dials on the phone] Joe, go round up Quagmire and all the modern day technology you can find! We are goin' to war! Oh, oh, hey, Bonnie. I...Is Joe there? [pause] Well, can I leave a message for 'im? Yeah, yeah, it's what I said before 'bout, eh, th...the war thing.

Peter: Suck on this you furry little weirdos.

Stewie: Brian? Is this our vacation?
Brian: Yeah.
Stewie: Oh. Are we trash?
Brian: Kinda.
Stewie: Oh.

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