- Chris Griffin: "Dad, was there ever a real city of New Orleans?"
Peter Griffin: "No one knows, Chris. No one knows." - Carter Pewterschmidt: "I wish I could talk to ghosts. That'll be sweeeeet!"
- Stewie (talking to Brian): "Ha ha. You're wearing a diaper, you look silly."
Brian "So do you."
Stewie: "Well, that's because I'm a baby and when everyone sees me they always go (mimicking a random person) "Oh, that baby is soooo cute. I bet he smells like baby powder." Meanwhile they see you (Brian) and they say (again mimicking a random person) "Oh, that dog is sick. I bet he's dying. I hope he doesn't leak on the carpet. Why doesn't somebody just put him to sleep?"
Brian: "At this point, I would welcome that." - Hungry Hank The Toilet: "I'm hungry for your poo, don't make me starve."
- Farmer: "Doggone it! If he wanted a pig, why didn't he just take my wife?"
(audience laughter)
Farmer: "And now ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty." - Carter Pewterschmidt: "Why are you naked in my house!?"
Peter Griffin: "Ahh. (pauses) Why aren't you?"
Carter Pewterschmidt: (squints) "You're all right, Griffin." - Peter Griffin: (to Bill Clinton) "I don't know, Reagan."
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