- Holly: Hi, can I help you find something?
- Stewie: What's she gonna do? This place doesn't even have a backroom. All the inventory is just out on the floor in ceiling high library stacks.
- Brian: Yep, we got it, Stewie. You're better than this place.
- Stewie: Yeah, I know that. I'm better than every place.
- [Holly uses Brannock devices to measure Chris' feet]
- Holly: Looks like a 10 and a half.
- Chris: They're perfect! I'll take them!
- Holly: No, those aren't the shoes.
- Chris: [in a robot voice] Do not speak in that tone to the iron giant! [robot walks off] Must destroy shoebox city!
- Peter: What's all this?
- Joe: Oh, hey guys. Sadly, my Uncle Ray passed away last week but he left me his vintage sports car.
- Peter: Joe, that's amazing that your uncle died! But I'm really sorry to hear about the car.
- Joe: See, here are all the 1950's Coke signs from the 1980's.
- [Brian and Holly request a song from a guy at a karaoke store]
- Brian: Yes, we'd like to request "Witchcraft" as arranged by Mr. Nelson Riddle.
- Guy: [sigh] Okay, give me a minute. You should just know, there's a 21st birthday party, here and you're ruining it for them.
- Joe: Hey, guys. What's the word?
- Peter: Uh, bird? Bird is the word.
- [The guys pretend Joe is driving a car]
- Cleveland: I see so many birds!
- Joe: Well, we're in a tunnel, so I'm not sure how that's possible.
- Cleveland: Malcolm in the Middle, 5 nights a week on Manchester's Channel 12.
- Quagmire: Cleveland, stop reading fake billboards!
- Meg: Nun, Brian steckt jetzt fest. Wir sind gleich zurück. I host Family Guy repeats in Germany.
- Brian: What um,...What grade are you in, bud?
- Kyle: Second.
- Brian: You don't say. Boy, I bet things are different than they were in my day. Lot of school shooting now.
- Kyle: [worried] What!?
- Brian: Oh no! No, no, I just meant...
- Kyle: [crying] Like...Like people bring guns to school?
- Brian: What? No, no, I'm not saying...
- Kyle: And they just shoot kids?
- Brian: Well, you can hide under your desk.
- Kyle: The desks won't be enough!
- [Holly enters]
- Holly: All set. You guys getting along?
- Brian: Yep, just great.
- Peter: Great job, hotwiring the car, Cleveland.
- Cleveland: The key was in the ash tray but your presumption will not be forgotten.
- [Herbert spies on Brian and Kyle getting along]
- Herbert: [picks up the phone] Animal control? I'd like to schedule an emergency neutering.
- Oscar the Grouch: [about to die] Tell my ex-wife...to go fuck herself.
- Lois: Chris, you're within 6 years of the same age of this kid you've just met and have nothing in common with. Why don't you go up to your room and have an awkward time together?
- Chris: Wanna go upstairs and accidentally break one of my toys and I'll hit you?
- Kyle: I guess.
- [Chris and Kyle go upstairs]
- Chris: [offscreen] HEY! DON'T TOUCH THAT!
- [Some punching sounds are heard]
- Chris: [offscreen] MOM! HE BLOCKED MY PUNCH AND HIT ME!
- Peter: Hey, Holly. Before you go, settle an argument between me and my wife. When measuring yourself, what do you count as the base?
- Lois: Peter!
- Peter: What? She measures stuff for a living.
- Holly: Let me start by saying, I am taint inclusive.
- Holly: Honestly, I've been thinking...
- Stewie: [offscreen] Uh-oh.
- Brian: Wha...Wha...What are you saying?
- Holly: Well, Brian,...I'm still young.
- Stewie: [offscreen] Oh, she's saying you're not!
- [Joe sees that his car got destroyed in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" fashion]
- Joe: Oh my God!...Huh. What is this? Is this Ferris Bueller? [thinks] Yeah,...It's Ferris Bueller. 100% on Ferris Bueller. Well, glad we got that settled.
- Peter: It's Fast Times at Ridgemont High, you idiot!
- Quagmire: Joe, we all watched it a week ago!
- Joe: Oh, yeah. You know, I enjoy movies while I'm watching them but the second they're over, I can't remember a thing, except Forrest Gump. [in Forrest Gump voice] Try one of my candies. It'll tell you about life.
- Cleveland: I liked When Harry Met Sally. [in old lady voice] I'll have the food, what made that lady came.
- Joe: Caring for a car like that requires round-the-clock effort. You know how much of a pain in the ass that is?
- Bonnie: [offscreen] YES!
- Quagmire: Joe's legs are, um...colder than I expected.
- Cleveland: No blood.
- Peter: Ich bin froh, dass alles wieder normal ist.
- Quagmire: Tut Mir leid wegen deinem Auto, Joe.
- Joe: Es ist in Ordnung. Wo ist nun Jerome mit den wiener?
- Peter: [chortles] Wiener.
- Meg: Guten nacht, Von das Disney Corporation.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Boy's Best Friend's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 18 | Family Guy Season 19 | Season 20 >> | ||||||
| #01 | Stewie's First Word | #08 | Pawtucket Pat | #15 | Customer of the Week | |||
| #02 | The Talented Mr. Stewie | #09 | The First No L | #16 | Who's Brian Now? | |||
| #03 | Boys & Squirrels | #10 | Fecal Matters | #17 | Young Parent Trap | |||
| #04 | Cutawayland | #11 | Boy's Best Friend | #18 | Meg Goes to College | |||
| #05 | La Famiglia Guy | #12 | And Then There's Fraud | #19 | Family Cat | |||
| #06 | Meg's Wedding | #13 | PeTerminator | #20 | Tales of Former Sports Glory | |||
| #07 | Wild Wild West | #14 | The Marrying Kind | |||||