[For the complete script, see: "Brokeback Swanson" at the Transcripts Wiki]

Brian: [Trying to pick up Tori] You know, some people are OK with a drive-through car wash. Me, I'm a fan of the hand job.

[Stewie observes Brian on a leash held by a strange man]
Stewie: Brian? What are you doing on a leash? And who's that?
Brian: [Quietly] Shhh, be cool. This is the guy who's wife I'm banging.
Stewie: Oh, what a romantic way to put it.
Brian: Yeah, it's great. I just pretend to be their dog, and then when he leaves for work, I get to go to the "pound" if you know what I mean.

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