"Cant't Touch Me" is sung by Peter Griffin during the episode E. Peterbus Unum and is a parody of the MC Hammer song "U Cant Touch This", first released on February 20, 1990 on the album "Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em".
Lyrics
Police Officer: Hey, that's illegal [stepping on a the grass], you're going to jail.
Peter: Uh, Uh, Uh, CAN'T TOUCH ME! CAN'T TOUCH ME! Ju-Ju-Ju-Ju-Just like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2, I got diplomatic immunity, so Hammer, you can't sue.
[points to MC Hammer and then graffitis on a wall :Petoria 4-Ever"]
Peter: I can write graffiti, even jaywalk on the streets! I can riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat! Can't touch me! Can't touch me!
Adam West: What in God's name is he doing?
Peter [dancing]: Can't touch me!
Cleveland: I believe he's doing the worm.
Peter: STOP! Peter Time! I'm a big shot! There's no doubt! Light a fire and pee it out! Don't like it, kiss my rump! Just for a minute let's all do the bump.
[Everybody dances.]
Peter: Can't touch me, Yeah, do the Peter Griffin bump! Can't touch me! I'm Presidential Peter! Interns think I'm hot! Don't care if you're handicapped! I'll still park in your spot! [Ties Joe to a back of the truck with chains] I've been around the world from Hartford to Bagbay! Hey Peter, Hey Peter, Hey Peter, How's it going, Hey Peter! Let's see Regis rap this way! Can't touch me!
[The song ends. A police officer is writing a ticket. Quahog is destroyed.]
Peter [to woman]: Except for you, you can touch me.