[Brian tries to explain Meg's orgasm after seeing Stewie's picture]
Brian: Wow, okay, uh...Stewie I think I know what happened. I can't tell you explicitly since we're owned by Disney, but let me just say that Santa made her 'Little Mermaid' 'Moana.'
Principal Shepherd: And now, Adam West High School choir's original Christmas song, "Die Hard". I see those looks. Yes, the movie was originally released in summer but it took place on Christmas eve, which makes it a Christmas film.
Peter: [takes out a rule book] I guess we don't need this for anything.
Chris: Hey, Mr. Quagmire. Getting ready for the birth of Christ?...WHICH HAPPENED!
[Meg leaves the living room]
Lois: She's gone! Quick, let's take the picture for the Christmas card!
[The family takes a picture and the card ends up with a picture of Peter's ass pimple]
Peter: I sent the wrong picture to Walgreens'.
Rabbi: I want a new TV and it can't be a Vizeo, Sony or Samsung only and I want it all set up before I turn it on. I don't wanna have to do any of the things!
Meg: [about to climax] Shut up, everyone!...Shut up! SHUT UP!...JUST SHUT UP!
Stewie: Meg, what are you doing? You look like mom, when she sits on the washing machine.
[A woman watches Meg have an orgasm]
Woman: I'll have what she's having.
Lois: What's going on?
Meg: Mom, I think I met someone.
Lois: Oh, Meg, that's amazing! I wanna know all about him. What's his name?