Brian: I'm warning you, if you kill me the internet's gonna freak out.
Lois: Oh, Meg. You have to babysit for Stewie, Saturday.
Lois: Okay. Chris, you have to do it.
Chris: What? That's not fair. I have a party to go to.
Lois: Sorry, Meg found pictures on your father's computer and she's blackmailing us. She can do what she wants until we get some dirt on her.
Peter: I didn't know it was supposed to be hard before I took the picture.
Stewie: You have a pager?
Stewie: You get paged?
Chris: Yeah, that's how a pager works.
Stewie: Why don't you just get a phone?
Chris: Um, you mean one of your government tracking devices? No thanks, I'm using a pager. Oh, you're looking at your steps? No, the government's watching where you're going. It's not nap time, Stewie. Wake up.
Government Official #1: Okay, Stewie's going to the party.
Government Official #2: Yeah, but where's Chris going?
Government Official #1: I have no idea. He's completely off the grid!
Government Official #2: Dammit! He can't hide forever!
[The government officials look at a screen, which tracks everybody except for Chris]
Government Official #2: Where are you?
Stewie: I see we're smoking.
Teenager: We're not smoking, we're vaping.
Stewie: What's the difference?
Teenager: Smoking is for losers. Vaping is for douchebags.
Brian: I'm a dog. I can hear everything. By the way, the Stranger Things monster just farted.
[Cutaway to Hal the Demogorgon in The Upside Down]
Hal: Whoo! Must have been that fat chick I ate.
[Brian gets put in a cage at the pound]
Brian: Jess is having me put down!? Oh my God! This can't be happening!