- Stewie: It's possible we've taken this too far.
- Brian: I'm warning you, if you kill me the internet's gonna freak out.
- Lois: Oh, Meg. You have to babysit for Stewie, Saturday.
- Meg: Nope.
- Lois: Okay. Chris, you have to do it.
- Chris: What? That's not fair. I have a party to go to.
- Lois: Sorry, Meg found pictures on your father's computer and she's blackmailing us. She can do what she wants until we get some dirt on her.
- Peter: I didn't know it was supposed to be hard before I took the picture.
- Stewie: You have a pager?
- Chris: Yeah.
- Stewie: You get paged?
- Chris: Yeah, that's how a pager works.
- Stewie: Why don't you just get a phone?
- Chris: Um, you mean one of your government tracking devices? No thanks, I'm using a pager. Oh, you're looking at your steps? No, the government's watching where you're going. It's not nap time, Stewie. Wake up.
- Government Official #1: Okay, Stewie's going to the party.
- Government Official #2: Yeah, but where's Chris going?
- Government Official #1: I have no idea. He's completely off the grid!
- Government Official #2: Dammit! He can't hide forever!
- [The government officials look at a screen, which tracks everybody except for Chris]
- Government Official #2: Where are you?
- Stewie: I see we're smoking.
- Teenager: We're not smoking, we're vaping.
- Stewie: What's the difference?
- Teenager: Smoking is for losers. Vaping is for douchebags.
- Brian: I'm a dog. I can hear everything. By the way, the Stranger Things monster just farted.
- [Cutaway to Hal the Demogorgon in The Upside Down]
- Hal: Whoo! Must have been that fat chick I ate.
- [Brian gets put in a cage at the pound]
- Brian: Jess is having me put down!? Oh my God! This can't be happening!
- [A rabid Clifford the Big Red Dog, is shown in the cage next to him]
- Clifford: Did you also eat a kid?
- Peter: When is Brian coming back?
- Jess: Oh, never. I'm having him euthanized.
- Peter: Euthanized!? Oh my God!
- [Peter hurries to his car and speeds down the road]
- Peter: Come on, come on!
- [Peter rushes into a library and looks through a dictionary]
- Peter: Euthanize ... Euthanize ... Euthanize.
- Lois: Well, Brian, I'm sorry that Jess died during the commercial break.
- Meg: [to Lois] You're such a bitch.
- Peter: She's a bitch? Meg, you said you wouldn't tell Stewie's secret!
- Chris: Stewie, you told dad?
- Stewie: I had to get it off my chest. I didn't think he'd understand me.
- Peter: I understand pieces now and then.
- Chris: You're smoking the vape pen?!
- Lois: No, I'm smoking a real cigarette like mothers are supposed to do.
- Chris: You're such a hypocrite! At least vaping is healthy!
- Lois: Don't be an idiot! Vaping is just as bad and you look like a douchebag!
- Chris: No, I don't! I look cool.
- Lois: [hands Chris the vape pen] Go ahead. Hold it to your mouth.
- [She takes a picture, then shows him the picture of him vaping with a stupid grin]
- Chris: Oh, my God! I'm a douchebag!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Dead Dog Walking's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 16 | Family Guy Season 17 | Season 18 >> | ||||||
| #01 | Married...With Cancer | #08 | Con Heiress | #15 | No Giggity, No Doubt | |||
| #02 | Dead Dog Walking | #09 | Pawtucket Pete | #16 | You Can't Handle the Booth! | |||
| #03 | Pal Stewie | #10 | Hefty Shades of Gray | #17 | Island Adventure | |||
| #04 | Big Trouble in Little Quahog | #11 | Trump Guy | #18 | Throw It Away | |||
| #05 | Regarding Carter | #12 | Bri, Robot | #19 | Girl, Internetted | |||
| #06 | Stand By Meg | #13 | Trans-Fat | #20 | Adam West High | |||
| #07 | Griffin Winter Games | #14 | Family Guy Lite |
| ||||