Peter: Ah, the water park. Happy anniversary, Lois.

Isabella: My top came off on the slide. I think I may have seen ... you put it in your shorts.
Chris: Okay, well here's my shorts. [Chris takes off his shorts, which are full of bikini tops] Just fish out the one that's yours.

Eacx17 040a 03a 0051 hires2
Chris: I saw Lady and the Tramp, so I asked if we could eat spaghetti in the alley, but they said no cuz of all the homeless masturbation.
Isabella: Aw, I love that movie.

Lois: Are you sure you wanna date a girl who's ... had so much experience?
Chris: What do you mean?
Lois: Like, maybe she's got some city miles on her vuvu.
Stewie: Not to mention a couple of blowouts. [chuckles] Hey, Bri.
Brian: Yup, I heard you.

Brian: Look, I can see why you're concerned that Chris' girlfriend has kids, but, he's happy and she seems like she's into him. Plus she's ... [bites lip] she's hot.
Lois: [biting her lip] Yeah, she is.
Peter: [lips covered in blood] I bit my lip off.

[Someone throws rocks at Chris' bedroom window]
Chris: [sigh] Go away, Mr. Herbert.
Herbert: [offscreen] It's not me. I'm in your closet.

[Consuela works as the new CEO of Yahoo]
Guy: Maybe we should improve out business model.
Consuela: No ... no.
Girl: Improve out original content?
Consuela: No ... no.
Guy: So, we have no corporate identity?
Consuela: We secondary Email, people use to sign up for porn sites.

[Peter holds the newspaper upside down]
Meg: Uh, dad, you're reading the paper upside down.
[Peter lowers the paper, revealing his head is upside down]
Peter: Wrong again, idiot.

Lois: What makes you think you can take care of two babies?
Chris: I don't know. I've seen her take care of them. I've seen you with Stewie. Frankly, it doesn't seem that hard.
Stewie: You just shattered her world ... shattered!

Chris: If you'll excuse me, these two need to eat.
Stewie: He bought a breast feeding book. Someone may wanna pop in on him.

Peter: I made pretty good money, when I hosted that confusing game show.
[Cutaway to Peter on a confusing game show]
Peter: Alright, Phil come stand by me. It's Ashley's turn. Ashley go ahead. Pink an answer, find a question, spin the table and remember, the clock is ticking backwards.
Ashley: I'll pass?
[Wrong buzzer goes off]
Peter: Congrats! You win. Sorry to see you go, and Phil, we'll see you tomorrow. That's all the time we have. For those of you, playing at home, Why and How? Audience?
Audience: Why and How!
Peter: Stop that!

Isabella: Chris! What in the mind of Mencia are you doing here?

Quagmire: Hey, you must be Isabella. I came as soon as I heard about you and then I got on my plane. Huh, huh. Alright.

Chris: Boy, I can't believe there'd be corrupt cops in Mexico.

Peter: Donald Trump was right ... his daughter is a hot piece of ass.

Consuela: Time for clean getaway.

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