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Peter: How the hell am I going to break this to Lois? If she finds out I got fired for drinking, she's going to blame me!


Peter: We're officially on welfare. Come on kids, help me scatter car parts all over the front yard.


Peter: I hate lying to Lois. It's just... It's the best way to keep her from knowing the truth.


Stewie: You know, Mother, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. Your life, however, is more like... A BOX OF ACTIVE GRENADES!


Stewie: Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb!


Stewie: Blast you and your estrogenical treachery!


Peter: Screw this, I only came here to buy fireworks!


Peter: Six thousand chicken Fa-Jye-Tas!


Brian: And a So-Sauge McBuiscuit...

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