Handi-Quacks Theme Song
Now they handicaped...
From the episode: FG710 - FOX-y Lady
Singers: Peter Griffin
Voices: Seth MacFarlane

Handi-Quacks is the name of the television pilot Peter creates in the Season Seven episode "FOX-y Lady." The show is about three physically handicapped ducks by the names of Poopyface Tomato-nose, Colonel Tushfinger and Red Hiney Monkey, who engage in a series of humorous capers.


The plotline concerning the creation of the show focuses on Peter taking advantage of wife Lois' employment with FOX News. Peter, Chris and Meg attempt to develop the show; Peter and Chris suggest inane, off-the-wall ideas that are enthusiastically received, while Meg's are scornfully rejected, leading to her eventual dismissal from the project. Later, Peter hires Cleveland, Joe and Quagmire as the voice actors.

The pilot show is poorly produced and developed, and crudely animated, and all seems as though Peter's "show" will be flatly and unmercifully rejected. Incredibly, FOX chief executive officer Peter Chernin enjoys it and agrees to air the show, but Peter rejects the offer when Chernin offers a minor character design change (a character's nose should be a plum instead of a tomato); Chernin is impressed with Peter's passion about his work and relents on his suggestion, but Peter still refuses.

Theme lyrics

One Day, 3 Ducks were crossing the road
Going to a car shop
Goin' to buy a Skoda
But they weren't looking where they were goin'
And the bus came along and hit them all
Now they're handicaped and. . .
No . . . that's pretty much it!
And they never got their Skodaaaaaaaaa!
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