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I've Got a Little List
Stewie's Little List
None of them be missed...
From the episode: Lois Kills Stewie
Singers: Stewie Griffin
Voices: Seth MacFarlane

"I've Got a Little List" is a song that was originally from the operetta The Mikado or The Town of Titipu by W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan. It is sung by Stewie in "Lois Kills Stewie" but was cut for time from the broadcast version of the episode as Stewie consolidates his power.

Listen

Lyrics

Stewie: Now, I have no doubt that perhaps there may exist some mild discontent amongst some of you about the recent changes I have implemented. Lest you be considering any sort of uprising, I should warn you I am quite prepared to make an example of any undesirable elements. And don't think I don't know who you are!

As someday it may happen that a victim must be found
I've got a little list, I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed, who never would be missed
There's the white kid with the baggy clothes who's talking like he's black
The girl you date who doesn't get the jokes in “Caddyshack
The Asian guy who cuts in front of every single line
And Britney Spears for accidentally showing her vagine
And Bill O'Reilly's ineffective dermatologist
They'd none of them be missed, they'd none of them be missed
Secret Service Men: He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
And they'd none of them be missed
They'd none of them be missed
Stewie: There's the guy behind the news reporter waving like a fool
And Senator Bill Frist, I've got him on the list
And the fat kid smiling warmly while he's peeing in the pool
He never would be missed, he never would be missed
There's the foul-smelling boy who comes to school in camouflage
And every bleeding member of the cast of “Entourage
And while we're on the subject, HBO deserves a whack
For ending "The Sopranos" with a fucking cut to black!
And guys who when you shake their hand just bump you with their fist
I don't think they'd be missed. I'm sure they'd not be missed
Secret Service Men: He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
And they'd none of them be missed
They'd none of them be missed
Stewie: There's the guy who sits beside you and keeps farting on the plane
And Shakira's lyricist. I've got him on the list
And the smarty on Thanksgiving who says, "It's the trip-toe-fane!" (tryptophan)
He never would be missed, he never would be missed
There's the blonde who tells you loudly with a voice just like a knife
[falsetto] "You know, someone should do a sitcom based around my life!"
[normal voice] The guy who watched "The Simpsons" back in 1994
And won't admit the damn thing isn't funny anymore
Stewie and Secret Service Men: And anyone
And every one...
Who's ever...
Made me pissed!
Secret Service Men: Made me pissed!
Made me really really pissed!
Stewie: I've got them on the list
They'd none of them be missed
Secret Service Men: They'd be none, they'd be...
They'd be none, they'd be none of them be missed
Secret Service Men: He's got them on the list
He's got them on the list
And they'd none of them be missed...
Stewie: They'd none
Secret Service Men: None of them...
Of...
None of them...
Them...
None of them
Stewie & Secret Service Men: Be...
Missed!
Basso Profundo Secret Service Man: None of them be missed!

Notes

  • The Sopranos' finale would again be referenced at the end of the episode when it's revealed that the entire scenario was an experiment in Stewie's computer. As he and Brian discuss the outcome of his scenario, the screen cuts to black.
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