If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin'
Peter becomes idolized for mystic powers he does not posess.

Season: 2 Episode: 9
Total Episode Count: 16
Prod. no.: 1ACX12
First Aired: April 4, 2000

Guest Starring: Martin Mull
Featuring: Peter Griffin, Chris Griffin
Also Appearing: Lois, Stewie, Brian, Meg, Tom Tucker, Diane Simmons, Steven C. Callaghan, Dirk Bandit, Rufus Griffin, God, Jeremy the Terminally ill Boy, Bryant Gumbel, Greg Gumbel, Craig T. Nelson, Scott Bakula, LL Cool J, Dennis Rodman, Fran Drescher, Whoopi Goldberg, Betty White, Suzanne Sommers, Charles Grodin, Charlie Sheen, Mr. McCloud, Steinberg, Little Johnny Gobraun, Mr. Harris, Florida Evans, James Evans, Sr., Pittsburgh Steelers
Musical Numbers: Dying Boy of Quahog

Director: Swinton Scott III

Writers: Chris Sheridan
Storyboarders: Ron Brewer, Don Sciore, Melissa Suber


Peter becomes very upset when NBC cancels his favorite show; Gumbel 2 Gumbel Beach Justice, a sitcom starring brothers Bryant Gumbel and Greg Gumbel. Lois suggests he use the series' cancellation to help Chris improve his study habits. To get the show back on the air, Peter decides to tell the Grant-A-Dream Foundation that being able to watch the show is Chris's dying wish. To this end, he makes up a disease called "tumasyphilisitisosis," the symptoms of which include growing extra nipples, faked with pepperoni slices, across one's torso.


An agreement is brokered between Grant-a-Dream and NBC in which the Gumbel show will be put back on the air if NBC can get the film rights to Chris's death. Peter is overjoyed when Gumbel 2 Gumbel is back on the air, but he panics upon learning that mourners are holding a candlelit vigil on their front lawn. When the network comes to claim their part of the deal, Lois finds out about the scam and tells Peter to tell the truth, but he could possibly face prison time for fraud. Acting out of desperation, he casually claims to have cured him and gets off the hook. Thus Peter gets a reputation for being a healer, and people start worshiping him as a god. Infuriated, the real God sends six plagues upon his house. When Chris is crushed by a giant golden statue of Peter during the final plague involving the death of the first-born son, Peter admits that he is not God, thus ending the plagues and saving Chris' life. He then, in the final moments, foolishly attempts to say he is god again but stops the moment the plagues return.

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