[Darth Vader arrives on the second Death Star with a bunch of passengers]
Darth Vader: Oh, my God, that was absolute hell! I just...I don't understand why...I mean, we're in a galaxy far, far away, and we still have to change in Atlanta.
[Roger as Moff Jerjerrod enters]
Moff Jerjerrod: Hi, Darth. You got any bags, or did you leave Mrs. Vader at home?
Darth Vader: Wow, it's you? Are we already out of our own characters?
Tiaan Jerjerrod: What?
Darth Vader: How's the construction going?
Tiaan Jerjerrod: Oh, fantabulously. Remember how last time they skimmed along a trench and then blew it up by shooting through a hole?
Darth Vader: Yeah.
Tiaan Jerjerrod: Well, now there's no trench.
Darth Vader: Great. Is there a hole?
Tiaan Jerjerrod: [pause] Yes.
Darth Vader: What?
Tiaan Jerjerrod: There is.
Darth Vader: Well, if I were you, I'd repair that hole before the Emperor arrives.
Tiaan Jerjerrod: The Emperor is coming here?
Darth Vader: Yeah, he loves this place. I was there when he came up with the idea for the Death Star.

[Flashback to Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader at the Mos Eisley Cantina]
Emperor Palpatine: Hey...Hey, Darth? Darth?
Darth Vader: Yeah? What?
[the Emperor draws a circle on his napkin]
Emperor Palpatine: That. That's what.
Darth Vader: What? It's a circle. It's a good circle, I'll give you that.
Emperor Palpatine: No. No, no. Space station.
Darth Vader: What?
Emperor Palpatine: Yep.
Darth Vader: What?
Emperor Palpatine: Yep, it is.
Darth Vader: No way!
Emperor Palpatine: It is. It is, big time.

[Jabba's palace, Bounty Hunter walks up and pushes a couple of buttons, unfreezing Han, a huge fart follows]
Han Solo: Sorry, sorry, been buildin' up for a while. Sorry. I'm so sorry about this.

Luke: [after stealing Yoda's credit card] Yes, I'd like to order the wall-sized crossword puzzle. Yes, I have a credit card my name's Yoda... Parseegian?

Luke: I can't believe Yoda is dead.
Obi-Wan's spirit: He will always be with you, Luke.
R2D2: [gasps and jumps into the air] A g..g..g..ghost!

Han Solo: You've got something right there.
[points to Scout trooper's chest Scout he looks and Han flicks him]
Han: Boop!

Darth Vader: Join us, Luke. Turn to the backside of the force!
Luke Skywalker: What?
Darth Vader: Dark side-turn-turn to the-long day.

Palpatine: If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed!
Luke Skywalker: Oh, yeah? You and what lightning hands?
Darth Vader: Oh, now you've done it.

Anakin Skywalker: What the hell, man? I was going to make it!
Luke Skywalker: Thanks for watching over me and keeping me safe.
Anakin Skywalker: Fuck you, you murdered me, you ass!

[The Griffins' power comes back on after Peter finishes retelling "Return of the Jedi"]
Peter: The end. And that's the final chapter in the Star Wars saga.
Meg: What about the prequels?
Peter: I think The Cleveland Show is gonna do those.
Chris: Dad, one question. What do you got against Seth Green?
Peter: I just think he's a douche. You got a problem with that?
Chris: Well, we're all entitled to our own opinion. For example, me, I think Seth MacFarlane is a douche.
Peter: What's that, now?
Lois: Yeah, I don't like him, either.
Meg: Yeah, me neither.
Stewie: Wait a second. I hear he's a pretty nice guy.
Brian: Yeah, good-looking guy. Talented, young...
Chris: Talented? He ripped off The Simpsons.
Lois: Yeah, he watched TV in the '80s. We get it.
Meg: And he only puts out, like, ten new episodes a year.
Chris: And then he splits those up into five DVD sets.
Peter: He doesn't make those decisions, Chris. Those decisions are made at the corporate level.
Chris: But he still takes the money every week. How noble.
Lois: And doesn't he have a whole staff that writes those episodes anyway?
Peter: Well, I wouldn't know about that, but I think, and I hope, Chris, that ultimately, people will just remember the laughter.

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