- [Darth Vader arrives on the second Death Star with a bunch of passengers]
- Darth Vader: Oh, my God, that was absolute hell! I just...I don't understand why...I mean, we're in a galaxy far, far away, and we still have to change in Atlanta.
- [Roger as Moff Jerjerrod enters]
- Moff Jerjerrod: Hi, Darth. You got any bags, or did you leave Mrs. Vader at home?
- Darth Vader: Wow, it's you? Are we already out of our own characters?
- Tiaan Jerjerrod: What?
- Darth Vader: How's the construction going?
- Tiaan Jerjerrod: Oh, fantabulously. Remember how last time they skimmed along a trench and then blew it up by shooting through a hole?
- Darth Vader: Yeah.
- Tiaan Jerjerrod: Well, now there's no trench.
- Darth Vader: Great. Is there a hole?
- Tiaan Jerjerrod: [pause] Yes.
- Darth Vader: What?
- Tiaan Jerjerrod: There is.
- Darth Vader: Well, if I were you, I'd repair that hole before the Emperor arrives.
- Tiaan Jerjerrod: The Emperor is coming here?
- Darth Vader: Yeah, he loves this place. I was there when he came up with the idea for the Death Star.
- [Flashback to Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader at the Mos Eisley Cantina]
- Emperor Palpatine: Hey...Hey, Darth? Darth?
- Darth Vader: Yeah? What?
- [the Emperor draws a circle on his napkin]
- Emperor Palpatine: That. That's what.
- Darth Vader: What? It's a circle. It's a good circle, I'll give you that.
- Emperor Palpatine: No. No, no. Space station.
- Darth Vader: What?
- Emperor Palpatine: Yep.
- Darth Vader: What?
- Emperor Palpatine: Yep, it is.
- Darth Vader: No way!
- Emperor Palpatine: It is. It is, big time.
- [Jabba's palace, Bounty Hunter walks up and pushes a couple of buttons, unfreezing Han, a huge fart follows]
- Han Solo: Sorry, sorry, been buildin' up for a while. Sorry. I'm so sorry about this.
- Luke: [after stealing Yoda's credit card] Yes, I'd like to order the wall-sized crossword puzzle. Yes, I have a credit card my name's Yoda... Parseegian?
- Luke: I can't believe Yoda is dead.
- Obi-Wan's spirit: He will always be with you, Luke.
- R2D2: [gasps and jumps into the air] A g..g..g..ghost!
- Han Solo: You've got something right there.
- [points to Scout trooper's chest Scout he looks and Han flicks him]
- Han: Boop!
- Darth Vader: Join us, Luke. Turn to the backside of the force!
- Luke Skywalker: What?
- Darth Vader: Dark side-turn-turn to the-long day.
- Palpatine: If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed!
- Luke Skywalker: Oh, yeah? You and what lightning hands?
- Darth Vader: Oh, now you've done it.
- Anakin Skywalker: What the hell, man? I was going to make it!
- Luke Skywalker: Thanks for watching over me and keeping me safe.
- Anakin Skywalker: Fuck you, you murdered me, you ass!
- [The Griffins' power comes back on after Peter finishes retelling "Return of the Jedi"]
- Peter: The end. And that's the final chapter in the Star Wars saga.
- Meg: What about the prequels?
- Peter: I think The Cleveland Show is gonna do those.
- Chris: Dad, one question. What do you got against Seth Green?
- Peter: I just think he's a douche. You got a problem with that?
- Chris: Well, we're all entitled to our own opinion. For example, me, I think Seth MacFarlane is a douche.
- Peter: What's that, now?
- Lois: Yeah, I don't like him, either.
- Meg: Yeah, me neither.
- Stewie: Wait a second. I hear he's a pretty nice guy.
- Brian: Yeah, good-looking guy. Talented, young...
- Chris: Talented? He ripped off The Simpsons.
- Lois: Yeah, he watched TV in the '80s. We get it.
- Meg: And he only puts out, like, ten new episodes a year.
- Chris: And then he splits those up into five DVD sets.
- Peter: He doesn't make those decisions, Chris. Those decisions are made at the corporate level.
- Chris: But he still takes the money every week. How noble.
- Lois: And doesn't he have a whole staff that writes those episodes anyway?
- Peter: Well, I wouldn't know about that, but I think, and I hope, Chris, that ultimately, people will just remember the laughter.
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