Peter: [on the phone] I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want, but I have a very particular lack of skills. I will never be able to find you. But what I do have is two dollars and a Casio wristwatch. You can have one of them.

Stewie: What the hell?
[is captured and is dragged into a room]
Brian: Stewie!

GPS: Back up dangerously into traffic.
[backs up into busy street]
GPS: Proceed wrong way down busy street for 500 meters.
[does so]
GPS: Say "Hang on" and drive down staircase.
Brian: Hang on!
[drives down wide staircase]
GPS: poorly edited shot where driver is obviously stunt person.
[Brian is replaced with man with a stunt helmet. Brian and Stewie reach a bridge, then jump down onto the yacht]
GPS: Leave fart in closed car like a dick.
Brian: Sorry about that!

Stewie: Alright, they're probably holding her below deck. You take the right side, I'll take the left. You're gonna need this.
[hands Brian silenced pistol]
Brian: What? I...I...I never killed anybody before!
Stewie: Relax, they're Arabs, people will still be rooting for you.

Peter: Sometimes I do part-time jobs for extra cash.
[Cut to Peter in a tuxedo at a restaurant walking up to a romantic couple on a dinner date with a violin.]
Peter: Gimme money gimme money gimme money gimme money gimme money...

Peter: I've never been good at saying good-be. Good-be, Meg.

[Stewie plays the tape of Brian on the phone]
Woman: Hello, Fundamental Industries. How can I help you?
Brian: Yeah... Uh... Is this... Is this Bang Brothers?
Woman: Yes.
Brian: Oh, okay. I-I'd like to cancel my subscription.
Woman: Uh, what's your name?
Brian: Brian Griffin.
Woman: And which site did you belong to?
Brian: Uh, Captain Stabbin'.
Woman: And how are you spelling that?
Brian: Uh... Um, Captain, full word, then Stabbin', S-T-A-B-B-I-N-Apostrophe.
Woman: Okay, I'm checking.
Brian: You know, instead of a G at the end.
Woman: I'm sorry sir, I'm not finding that site. Uh, what was the subject matter?
Brian: Um, uh... A guy doing chicks on a boat in a, uh, a captain's hat.
Woman: Okay, I'm checking.
Brian: The uh... The passengers had just signed up for a tour of the harbor, and um... And all that stuff happened.

Meg: I'll be right back. I've been holding a dump since America.

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