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Mort once joined the medieval fair in an attempt to overcome his fear of swords. You see, he was stabbed in the ear by a man in a pirate suit when he was five years old, and again when he was 30. |
Mort once joined the medieval fair in an attempt to overcome his fear of swords. You see, he was stabbed in the ear by a man in a pirate suit when he was five years old, and again when he was 30. |
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| − | He also has a very small penis. When the Black Knight's trophy wench flashed her cleavage, Mort was the only one whose armor didn't make a "Ding!" noise from the erection. He also once yelled out that he miscarried. |
+ | He also has a very small penis and/or erictile disfunction. When the Black Knight's trophy wench flashed her cleavage, Mort was the only one whose armor didn't make a "Ding!" noise from the erection. He also once yelled out that he miscarried. |
[[Category:Characters|Goldman, Mort]] |
[[Category:Characters|Goldman, Mort]] |
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Revision as of 21:45, 7 December 2007
Mort Goldman is Neil Goldman's father and the husband of Muriel Goldman. He owns the local pharmacy. He is also Jewish. He once bowled a perfect game. Mort is given to conversations about rather depressing, often grotesque topics such as bodily secretions and doesn't mind revealing details of his customers' very personal health problems.
Mort once joined the medieval fair in an attempt to overcome his fear of swords. You see, he was stabbed in the ear by a man in a pirate suit when he was five years old, and again when he was 30.
He also has a very small penis and/or erictile disfunction. When the Black Knight's trophy wench flashed her cleavage, Mort was the only one whose armor didn't make a "Ding!" noise from the erection. He also once yelled out that he miscarried.