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in: Episodes, Season 17

Changes: No Giggity, No Doubt/Quotes

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Line 8: Line 8:
 
:'''Quagmire''': Ahhh! Stop saying that!
  
:'''Quagmire''': Ahhh! Stop saying that!
 
----
  
----
  +
:''[Smitty stand on a chair, on top of a party bus]''
−  
  +
:'''Smitty''': Whoo! To my last night as a free man!
  +
:''[Smitty gets decapitated by a bridge]''
  +
:'''Peter''': Hm, unfortunate timing.
  +
----
  +
:'''Peter''': I'm beginning to think those vodka cranberries may have had alcohol in them.
  +
----
  +
:'''Meg''': Close dancing, 12:00. Hey! Arms length, dirty porno lovers!
  +
----
  +
:'''Principal Shepherd''': So, going stag tonight, Meg?
  +
:'''Meg''': Oh, no. I brought someone.
  +
:''[Meg takes out a pickle in a tuxedo and does a voice]''
  +
:'''Meg''': Hello, I'm in love with Meg.
  +
:'''Principal Shepherd''': Well, I'm very sorry I asked.
  +
----
  +
:'''Principal Shepherd''': Attention students. It's time to announce this year's prom king and queen.
  +
:'''Peter''': ''[offscreen]'' Natalee Holloway!
  +
----
  +
:'''Quagmire''': Hey, it's Glenn Quagmire. Would you tell [[Andrew]] that he is not the father?
  +
----
  +
:'''Quagmire''': Courtney, there's something I just gotta ask. What the heck was the theme of that dance?
  +
:'''Courtney''': What do you mean?
  +
:'''Quagmire''': Well, like. There was palm trees like it was Hawaii, but then there was a suit of armor in the corner, there was a big banner with ... with fish on it.
  +
:'''Courtney''': Can we get back to the fact that you're my dad?
  +
:'''Quagmire''': Yeah, you're right I'm ... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
  +
----
  +
:'''Courtney''': Hey, is that an Instant Pot?
  +
:'''Quagmire''': No, it's a Crock-Pot.
  +
:'''Courtney''': You gotta get an Instant Pot. You can make short ribs in it. It falls ...
  +
:'''Quagmire''': Yeah, it falls right off the bone. I know. I've had this conversation five times.
  +
:''[Joe shows up, outside the window]''
  +
:'''Joe''': Hey, Quagmire. I hear you're considering an Instant Pot.
  +
----
  +
:'''Peter''': So, I think I had a wet nightmare last night.
  +
----
  +
:''[Cleveland makes a faux phone call on his hand]''
  +
:'''Cleveland''': Yes, 9-1-1? Someone has stolen the old Quagmire and replaced him with a respectable man. ''[laughs]''
  +
:'''Voice over the phone''': Sir, this line is reserved for emergencies only. Please end your clammy joke.
  +
----
  +
:''[Quagmire flies Courtney in a plane]''
  +
:'''Courtney''': I can't believe my dad knows how to fly this thing.
  +
:'''Quagmire''': You wanna try?
  +
:'''Courtney''': Me? Oh, I don't know.
  +
:'''Quagmire''': Come on, it's easy. You don't even need a college degree, which is a very scary, true fact.
  +
----
  +
:'''Brian''': Yo, Courtney. What's your Instagram? I just got on there and need some interesting peeps to follow.
  +
:'''Courtney''': Oh, you'll have to ask my dad. He approves all my follow requests.
  +
:'''Quagmire''': ''[to Brian]'' Denied! Nice try, ass.
  +
----
  +
:'''Quagmire''': Hey, have you guys seen the ''Wonder Woman'' film?
  +
:'''Peter''': Yeah, no.
  +
----
  +
:'''Quagmire''': We're going camping. Hey, you and Meg should come with us, Peter. We'll make it a father daughter bonding weekend.
  +
:'''Lois''': Oh, that's a great idea.
  +
:'''Meg''': Yeah, let's go dad!
  +
:'''Peter''': You know who you should take instead of me? Uh, Stewie, or ... or Chris, or Brian. May ... Maybe Lois, or ... Seamus is fun. Carter Pewterschmidt, Babs Pewterschmidt, Bonnie, Joe, their son, Kevin, Cleveland, Jerome, Bruce, Opie, Carl, [[Holden Caulfield|the "phony" guy]], [[Eddie the Live Studio Ostrich|the ostrich]], Al Harrington, [[Billy Finn]], [[John Travolta]] from one of our cutaways, uh, all of our characters as ''[[Star Wars]]'' characters, everybody from ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'', [[Cherry Chevapravatdumrong]], that's how that name is pronounced, ''The Orville'', the ship, not the cast, um, me? AW, DAMMIT! Okay, fine. I'll go.
  +
:'''Lois''': Thank you.
  +
:'''Meg''': Cool.
  +
:''[Seamus shows up, at the window]''
  +
:'''Seamus''': I head my name too. I'm in! No? I'll drive, buy snacks? No? Okay. Everyone else is out here too.
  +
:''[Peter looks out the window and there's a massive group of all of the characters he mentioned, including characters from [[American Dad!]] and The Cleveland Show]''
  +
:'''Peter''': Oh my God! It's literally everyone!
  +
----
  +
:'''Quagmire''': ''[angry]'' GIGGITY FUCKING GIGGITY!
  +
----
  +
:'''Quagmire''': ''[angry]'' WHAT THE HELL WAS THE THEME OF THAT STUPID PROM!? ALL THE CUPS SAID "OH, WHAT A NIGHT"! I MEAN, IF IT WAS "OH, WHAT A KNIGHT" WITH A "K", THAT WOULD HAVE MADE SOME SENSE, CUZ THERE WAS A SUIT OF ARMOR THERE. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? ANSWER ME!
  +
:'''Peter''': I ... I think it's possible to overthink these things.
  +
----
  +
:''[Peter, Quagmire, Courtney, and Meg are trapped in a forest fire]''
  +
:'''Peter''': ''[to Meg]'' You know when this would never happen? If I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, ignoring you completely.
  +
----
  +
:'''Quagmire''': Courtney, I'm sorry for what I said earlier.
  +
:'''Courtney''': You mean, when you completely ripped my school dance theme?
  +
:'''Quagmire''': No, I ... no, there was no theme to rip. That's the point. I stand by all of that. If anything, I'm more angry.
  +
----
  +
:''[Firefighters come to save Peter, Quagmire, Courtney, and Meg from the forest fire]''
  +
:'''Fireman #1''': 9/11!
  +
:'''Fireman #2''': Boston strong!
  +
:''[The third fireman comes down, and he's completely headless, making him silent]''
  +
:'''Peter''': Oh, it's Smitty!
 
}}
  
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{{Season17Nav}}
  
{{Season17Nav}}

Revision as of 02:25, 12 March 2019

[Quagmire frantically hands Courtney a cotton swab to conduct a DNA test]
Quagmire: Here, rub this up and down on the inside of your cheek.
Quagmire and Courtney: Giggity!
Quagmire: Ahhh! Stop saying that!
[Smitty stand on a chair, on top of a party bus]
Smitty: Whoo! To my last night as a free man!
[Smitty gets decapitated by a bridge]
Peter: Hm, unfortunate timing.
Peter: I'm beginning to think those vodka cranberries may have had alcohol in them.
Meg: Close dancing, 12:00. Hey! Arms length, dirty porno lovers!
Principal Shepherd: So, going stag tonight, Meg?
Meg: Oh, no. I brought someone.
[Meg takes out a pickle in a tuxedo and does a voice]
Meg: Hello, I'm in love with Meg.
Principal Shepherd: Well, I'm very sorry I asked.
Principal Shepherd: Attention students. It's time to announce this year's prom king and queen.
Peter: [offscreen] Natalee Holloway!
Quagmire: Hey, it's Glenn Quagmire. Would you tell Andrew that he is not the father?
Quagmire: Courtney, there's something I just gotta ask. What the heck was the theme of that dance?
Courtney: What do you mean?
Quagmire: Well, like. There was palm trees like it was Hawaii, but then there was a suit of armor in the corner, there was a big banner with ... with fish on it.
Courtney: Can we get back to the fact that you're my dad?
Quagmire: Yeah, you're right I'm ... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Courtney: Hey, is that an Instant Pot?
Quagmire: No, it's a Crock-Pot.
Courtney: You gotta get an Instant Pot. You can make short ribs in it. It falls ...
Quagmire: Yeah, it falls right off the bone. I know. I've had this conversation five times.
[Joe shows up, outside the window]
Joe: Hey, Quagmire. I hear you're considering an Instant Pot.
Peter: So, I think I had a wet nightmare last night.
[Cleveland makes a faux phone call on his hand]
Cleveland: Yes, 9-1-1? Someone has stolen the old Quagmire and replaced him with a respectable man. [laughs]
Voice over the phone: Sir, this line is reserved for emergencies only. Please end your clammy joke.
[Quagmire flies Courtney in a plane]
Courtney: I can't believe my dad knows how to fly this thing.
Quagmire: You wanna try?
Courtney: Me? Oh, I don't know.
Quagmire: Come on, it's easy. You don't even need a college degree, which is a very scary, true fact.
Brian: Yo, Courtney. What's your Instagram? I just got on there and need some interesting peeps to follow.
Courtney: Oh, you'll have to ask my dad. He approves all my follow requests.
Quagmire: [to Brian] Denied! Nice try, ass.
Quagmire: Hey, have you guys seen the Wonder Woman film?
Peter: Yeah, no.
Quagmire: We're going camping. Hey, you and Meg should come with us, Peter. We'll make it a father daughter bonding weekend.
Lois: Oh, that's a great idea.
Meg: Yeah, let's go dad!
Peter: You know who you should take instead of me? Uh, Stewie, or ... or Chris, or Brian. May ... Maybe Lois, or ... Seamus is fun. Carter Pewterschmidt, Babs Pewterschmidt, Bonnie, Joe, their son, Kevin, Cleveland, Jerome, Bruce, Opie, Carl, the "phony" guy, the ostrich, Al Harrington, Billy Finn, John Travolta from one of our cutaways, uh, all of our characters as Star Wars characters, everybody from The Cleveland Show, Cherry Chevapravatdumrong, that's how that name is pronounced, The Orville, the ship, not the cast, um, me? AW, DAMMIT! Okay, fine. I'll go.
Lois: Thank you.
Meg: Cool.
[Seamus shows up, at the window]
Seamus: I head my name too. I'm in! No? I'll drive, buy snacks? No? Okay. Everyone else is out here too.
[Peter looks out the window and there's a massive group of all of the characters he mentioned, including characters from American Dad! and The Cleveland Show]
Peter: Oh my God! It's literally everyone!
Quagmire: [angry] GIGGITY FUCKING GIGGITY!
Quagmire: [angry] WHAT THE HELL WAS THE THEME OF THAT STUPID PROM!? ALL THE CUPS SAID "OH, WHAT A NIGHT"! I MEAN, IF IT WAS "OH, WHAT A KNIGHT" WITH A "K", THAT WOULD HAVE MADE SOME SENSE, CUZ THERE WAS A SUIT OF ARMOR THERE. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? ANSWER ME!
Peter: I ... I think it's possible to overthink these things.
[Peter, Quagmire, Courtney, and Meg are trapped in a forest fire]
Peter: [to Meg] You know when this would never happen? If I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, ignoring you completely.
Quagmire: Courtney, I'm sorry for what I said earlier.
Courtney: You mean, when you completely ripped my school dance theme?
Quagmire: No, I ... no, there was no theme to rip. That's the point. I stand by all of that. If anything, I'm more angry.
[Firefighters come to save Peter, Quagmire, Courtney, and Meg from the forest fire]
Fireman #1: 9/11!
Fireman #2: Boston strong!
[The third fireman comes down, and he's completely headless, making him silent]
Peter: Oh, it's Smitty!

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