- Brian: I mean I was having fun, making new friends, getting laid all the time, sleeping like a rock, but you made the call. You unilaterally decided I was better off a bitter alcoholic failure who could only hang out with a baby.
- Stewie: Hey! We have fun.
- Ruth: Your mom's so fucking hot!
- Brian: Oh, cool. My friend Pete is here. Pete Za. [chuckles] Nom, nom, nom, nom. That's going to be me in, like, five minutes!
- Peter: It's fun being stupid. You don't gotta worry about nothing, you don't gotta read books and you never die.
- Brian: Peter, that's not correct.
- Peter: How would you know, stupid? [Chris and Stewie laugh]
- Brian: Thanks a lot, SAT.
- Brian: Bazinga!
- Peter: Like what the gay scientist says.
- [Brian gets a nosebleed]
- Peter: Gross! He's getting his nose period.
- Dr. Hartman: I did a CAT scan.
- Peter: On a dog. [laughs]
- Dr. Hartman: We laughed about that, too.
- Brian: I'm awesome-sauce.
- Stewie: Either take the tumor out of him or put one in me! I can't stand this!
- Brian: Hey, this isn't the Kenny Chesney concert!
- Dog: [after being sent to outer space by the Soviet Union] Joke on them! I find happy dog planet. In 50 years, we all go back to Earth and bite everybody, but now, we dance!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Our Idiot Brian's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 12 | Family Guy Season 13 | Season 14 >> | |||||||||
| #01 | The Simpsons Guy | #07 | Stewie, Chris & Brian's Excellent Adventure | #13 | Dr. C & The Women | ||||||
| #02 | The Book of Joe | #08 | Our Idiot Brian | #14 | #JOLO | ||||||
| #03 | Baking Bad | #09 | This Little Piggy | #15 | Once Bitten | ||||||
| #04 | Brian the Closer | #10 | Quagmire's Mom | #16 | Roasted Guy | ||||||
| #05 | Turkey Guys | #11 | Encyclopedia Griffin | #17 | Fighting Irish | ||||||
| #06 | The 2000-Year-Old Virgin | #12 | Stewie Is Enceinte | #18 | Take My Wife |
| |||||