Bud: Thanks for the ride along. I liked it when you sentenced those two girls to kiss each other.
Peter: Yeah, all girls are lesbians when you point a gun at them.

Brian: Hey, what are you doing home so early?
Stewie: He's following me, Brian.
Brian: Who's following you?
Stewie: Tom Cruise. I spent one afternoon with the guy and it's like I signed an eight year contract to show up at events with him and let him fake-father a child.
Brian: Stewie, I would think Tom Cruise has better things to do than follow you around.
Stewie: Oh really, well explain that. [points at Tom Cruise outside]
Brian: You know, it's times like this where I think, if I didn't talk and you were a normal baby, we wouldn't have any of these problems.

Quagmire: Yeah, we get us tickets on Kayak. It is a nightmare itinerary: It was like 80 bucks, but it has four stops.
Cleveland: Two of them are in Houston.

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