[For a complete script, see: "Peter, Chris, & Brian" at the Transcripts Wiki]

Peter: I'm very easily influenced by music.

[Brian and Chris return from biking]
Chris: Apologies for being so tardy.
Peter: Ah Chris, you're not tardy. We tested you twice.

Peter: Well, I think we all learned something today.
Tom Tucker: In other news, TVs still make noise, even when people resume their conversation. [Lois and Chris start talking] Yes, studies have been telling that merely turning your head and speaking to your fat and gross family members will not deactivate a functioning television. How crazy is that? You actually have to turn the TV off to keep on going.
Stewie: Let's go ahead and turn off the TV.
Tom Tucker: There we go.

Stewie: Lois, stop making him reminisce about stuff.

Peter: Did I just do a racism?

Peter: I wanna watch all of these movies nonstop. [Eleven minutes later] I don't wanna watch any of these movies, ever.

Peter: [As Conway Twitty plays] This is annoying; I don't wanna sit through this.

Peter: Oh my God! He's just rhyming "danger zone" with "danger zone."

Peter: I'm trying to save our son, Lois. I don't want him to end up like me: dead end job, crappy house, aging wife who's getting skinny where fat's supposed to be and fat where skinny's supposed to be.
Meg: Ha!
Lois: Meg, go to your room.

Chris: [Getting a nosebleed] Yay! My nose is finally a woman!

Meg: Augh. I got a skin tag in my crack and it stings when I don't wipe right.
Stewie: This has been a bad dinner.

Brian: [At a book club meeting] Let's "dog-ear" this for a sec. [Chuckles] This one gets it.

Chris: This is why you're so great, Dad. You don't pretend to be someone you're not; you do what you want. You don't care what anyone thinks.

Peter: Let's go get an $18 Coke at the terrible zoo restaurant.
Chris: Yay! Sticky tables covered in bees!

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