- Stewie: [imitates commentators] He takes the beam. The spectators hold their breath as Stewie Griffin...is America's last hope... to take home the gold. [jumps] Oh-oh, did you see that, Mitch? I sure did, Kathy; that was impressive. Here comes the dismount.
- Chris: Hey, Stewie, I just took a nap. You want an eye booger? [loses Stewie's balance]
- Stewie: Aaaa...agh! Aw, damn you, Chris! Look what you've done! I'm training for the Olympics and I need absolute concentration. [throws a book at Chris' forehead, knocking out] Ugh, look at him, look how fat he is.
- [The Kool-Aid Guy is relaxing on his couch when a car crashes into his living room]
- Kool-Aid Man: Wow, you know, from the other side, that's kind of annoying.
- Peter: Sure, I've steered our family through bigger problems, like when we were cartoon sketches on The Tracey Ullman Show.
- [cutaway]
- Lois: Well, that's the end of Puss; he was the best cat anyone had ever have.
- Peter: Hey, Lois, what do ya say we go downtown and buy a dog?
- Brian: Hey, wait a minute, you already have a dog!
- Chris: So long, Puss.
- Meg: We'll miss you.
- Stewie: [Cockney accent] It's gonna be quite a different place with him gone, that's for true.
- Stewie: Alright, Kathy, it looks like Stewie Griffin is preparing to begin the floor routine. That's right, Mitch, and as we watch Griffin doing this, I want to remind everyone that this is absolutely not gay. [performs an acrobatic sequence]
- Brian: Boy, that was really gay.
- Stewie: No! No! Didn't you just hear the announcers? They said it's not gay. Ha-ha! Stewie one, you zero.
- Stewie: Stand back, Brian. I'm preparing for my vault.
- Brian: You can't vault inside the living room, you're gonna get hurt.
- Stewie: I'll get hurt right onto a Wheaties box.
- Brian: I don't see that happening.
- Stewie: Who cares what you say? You're a dog. You can't see colors...which means you can't see colors of the American flag. Commie! [runs. Jumps on trampoline, acrobats on table, flies, crashes in plate cabinet and falls to ground] Ugh, I think I'm okay. [Turns his head to the left a little, revealing a huge shard of glass stuck through his head] Aargh! Argh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Oh God! Somebody! Do I take it out or do I leave it in? Do I take it out or do I leave it in? Aaaaaargh!
- Carter: Peter, can I speak to you over by the door? [A punch is heard and Peter falls down the hill]
- [the Kool-Aid Man puts the finishing touches of the wall earlier]
- Kool-Aid Man: Good as new! [Peter crashes through] Oh, come on!
- Peter: Carter, hand me my thinking grenades.
- Carter: Where'd you get these?
- Peter: Shh, Carter, I'm thinking.
- [Throws a grenade out the window, it explodes shortly after]
- Peter: Uh-huh...
- [Throws another grenade, explosion]
- Passerby: Oh my God! He's dead!
- Peter: That might work...
- [Throws a third grenade, explosion]
- Passerby: What's happening?!
- Peter: [Gets up] I got it!
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