- [Stewie makes a long winded description of Dr. Pritchfield, proving to know a lot about him]
- Stewie: See? I guess we do know each other a bit.
- Pritchfield: You seem like a very lonely little boy.
- Stewie: [in tears] Oh my God, I am! I'm so lonely! [cries] You can see inside my soul!
- Pritchfield: It is creating a bit of a controversy. [pronouncing "controversy" as "con-traw-ver-sy"]
- Stewie: 'Scuse me?
- Pritchfield: A controversy.
- Stewie: I don't know what that is.
- Pritchfield: Controversy.
- Stewie: Contrawversy? [realization] Oh! Oh, controversy.
- Pritchfield: Apologies, those of us with British accents, pronounce it, "contrawversy". But how wold you know that?
- Stewie: Yeah, how would I know that? Look, Dr. Pritchfield, Cecil, if I may.
- Pritchfield: It's pronounced "Seh-sel".
- Stewie: Dammit!
- Stewie: I only pushed Tyler down the stairs because I like him and I'm afraid he won't like me back. And ... And not like him, like him, I'm not gay. This whole thing isn't because I'm say so, ... so calm down. I can already see you licking your chops. I'm sure you live for the coming out sessions. If anything, I'm less gay than I used to be.
- Stewie: "Fluid" is something I hear being tossed round a lot now, but I'm confident in my heterosexuality. That's a word, right?
- Pritchfield: Yes, of course.
- [Dr. Pritchfield tries to get insight into Stewie's character]
- Stewie: Well, I like to talk about world domination. Some people don't think that I talk about it enough anymore, but 'mind your own beeswax' is what I say to them.
- Pritchfield: When I was your age, I grew up in London, when The Blitz has just ended.
- Stewie: Good God, how old are you?
- Stewie: Everything about me is this carefully constructed persona, designed to keep people at arm's length. This isn't even how I really talk. [In an American accent] This is. This is how I talk. The accent is ... is nothing more than an affectation, a coat of armor to get me through the day, just an image I cultivated so I can feel special.
- Stewie: This is my real voice.
- Pritchfield: I don't hear a difference.
- Stewie: [In Peter's voice] How 'bout now? Ya freakin' hear that? [In Quagmire's voice] What about now? Sound different? Giggity? [In Elmer's voice] What about now? [in Tom's voice] Coming up now, this voice. [In Seamus' voice] Ahoy, it's me. [In Roger's voice] And I'm a gay alien.
- Pritchfield: I'm sorry, that just all sounds like the same person.
- Stewie: I'm gonna talk to Tyler! I'm gonna make friends! I'm gonna be a normal boy!
- Pritchfield: Yes you are. You're finally going to be just like everybody else.
- Stewie: W ... Wha? Say ... Say that again.
- Pritchfield: You're finally going to be just like everybody else.
- Stewie: But ... but I don't ... [in his British accent] I don't want to be like everybody else!
- [Right after Dr. Pritchfield dies, Michael leaves a message on his phone]
- Michael: It's Michael. I want a divorce.
- Stewie: This is not your day.
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