General
References
Notes/Trivia
Quotes
Goofs
The following quotes are from Something, Something, Something Dark Side, the second Star Wars spoof from Family Guy, due to air late 2008-late 2009. The following quotes are from the hidden table read easter-egg from the Blue Harvest DVD. Please note that these quotes are from the first draft of the script, meaning that it is likely that these will be changed in one way or another.
- Leia/Lois: We need you.
- Han/Peter: Oh really? "We" or "I"?
- Leia/Lois: [nervously] What do you mean?
- Han/Peter: You don't want me to leave because of the way you feel about me, huh?
- Leia/Lois: [nervously] Oh, you're imagining...
- Han/Peter: [higher] Huh?
- Leia/Lois: [agitated] There's no way..
- Han/Peter: [even higher] Huh?
- Leia/Lois: [agitated] If you think...!
- Han/Peter: [even higher still] Huh?!
- Leia/Lois: How could you even...!
- Han/Peter: [really, really high] Huh?! [normal voice] **Oh, I should've started lower.** Anyway, I bet you're afraid I'm gonna leave without giving you a good bye kiss.
- Leia/Lois: Eh, I'd rather kiss George Takei.
- [adjust (???) to reveal George Takei]]
- George Takei: Hello.
- **Might have been Seth MacFarlane, not specifically Peter, stating that he started to high.**
- [Han (Peter) turns to Leia (Lois)]
- Han/Peter: Well your clitoris-ness, it looks like you've managed to keep me around a little longer (???).
- Leia/Lois: I assure you, I had nothing to do with it.
- Han/Peter: Yeah right. I think you just can't stand to let a fat guy like me out of your sights.
- Leia/Lois: [agitated] Why you stuck up, half witted, scruffy lookin' nerf herder!
- [Han (Peter) hits Leia (Lois) as hard as he can]
- Han/Peter: You can't use that word! Only we can use that word!
- Leia/Lois: You think you're hot shit but you're really cold piss.
- [Leia (Lois) crosses over and kisses Luke (Chris) on the mouth. During the kiss, she opens her eyes and slowly backs away]
- Leia/Lois: [stuttering] I-I-I don't know what it is, but when I kiss you, i-it's like kissing my brother.
- Luke/Chris: Well look, even if we're related, I-I'm-I'm from a farming planet so it's okay.
- [Princess Leia (Lois) is addressing a group of rebel pilots]
- Leia/Lois: May I have everyone's attention please? We're evacuating into outer space with literally infinite directions in which to flee. However, we have decided that our transports will travel directly towards the fleet of stormtroopers. Any questions?
- Rebel 1 (Alec Sulkin): Yeah, um, is there someone from the military we can talk to, a man perhaps?
- [Cut along (???) Luke getting into his snow speeder]
- Dak: Feeling okay sir?
- Luke/Chris: Just like new! How 'bout you?
- Dak: I feel like I can take on the whole empire myself!
- [Luke (Chris) stops]
- Luke/Chris: That'd be awesome! [shouting] Hey everyone, Dak says he's got this one!
- [the rebels all cheer and start landing their speeders]
- Dak: You know it bitches!
- [Dak takes off. In space, Dak flies up to the planet and stops, facing the imperial fleet]
- Dak: Hey imperial fleet, get ready to suck some Dak!
- [In the star destroyer (???), two imperial officers watch in the command center as Dak's ship approaches]
- Officer 1: That guy seems pretty fired up.
- Officer 2: Should we turn around?
- Officer 1: Maybe we should shoot him first, and if that doesn't work, we'll take off.
- [they shoot one laser blast at him blowing him up. Back on Hoth, there is an ominous silence as the rebel defence forces wait for the approach of the imperial troops]
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