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Terri Schiavo: The Musical
Terri 1.jpg
From the episode: Peter-assment
Singers: Various children
Voices: Studio singers

Terri Schiavo: The Musical is a play created by the staff of Little Clam Pre-School. The students at Little Clam Pre-School perform it in "Peter-assment". In the play while performing the main theme "Terri Schiavo is Kind of Alive-O" Stewie Griffin gets to meet his idol Jared who had performed the role of the plug the previous three years.

It is based on the story of Terri Schiavo, who was in a vegetative state from 1990 to 2005 by undetermined means. Her husband and parents fought each other over continued life support, the latter maintaining she showed signs of recognition and her husband and doctors arguing against. The case became a lightning rod for activists regarding the right-to-life vs. quality of life. In the end, the courts awarded custody to her husband and life support was terminated resulting in her death.



(Equipment pumps and hums rhythmically)

Child 1 (Michael Schiavo): Hi Doctor, It's me, Michael Schiavo

How's my wife doing?

Child 2 (Doctor): She's a vegetable

Child 3 (Doctor): I hate vegetables


Child 2 (Doctor): Don't worry about her Mr. Schiavo

She's being kept alive by medical science.

Child 1 (Michael Schiavo): Gee, look at all this stuff

How does it all work?

Child 2 (Doctor): Well, I'll tell you

This one keeps her liver clean

This one checks her pee

Child 1 (Michael Schiavo): How about this one over here?

Child 2 (Doctor): Oh, That's just the TV

Chorus: Ha ha ha

This one checks her heart rate

This one checks her veins

And this dispenses gravy for her mashed potato brains

Chorus: Oh oh oh

Terri Schiavo is kind of alive-o

What a lively little bugger

Bass child doctor: Maybe we should just unplug her

Chorus: Terri Schiavo is kind of alive-o

The most expensive plant you'll ever see


Stewie: Oh, my God, here comes Jared

Child 4: Wow, he's in kindergarten

Jared (to Stewie): Hey, so you're the plug this year?

Stewie: Yeah, I'm the plug

Jared: Yeah, I was the plug three years in a row

Stewie: Like I don't know that?

Everybody know that Jared

Jared: Well listen, don't you try to be a Jared plug, alright?

You just go on out there and be the best Stewie plug you can

Stewie: I sure will Jared!

Jared: Hey, you got any gummi bears on you?

Stewie: No

Jared: It would be a lot cooler if you did (laughs and walks away)

Stewie (to the first two boys): You know, they say don't meet your heroes

But they can eat my ass, because that was awesome!

Child 3: I don't know, don't you think it's kind of weird that he's in kindergarten

And he's still hanging around kids our age?

Stewie: We are very lucky

Oh, here I go!

Child 1 (Michael Schiavo): There's only one solution

It's in the constitution

We've got to pull the plug!

Lois: There he is

Quick Peter, grab the video camera

Peter: All right, all right

(Stewie opens his mouth and freezes)

Meg: Whats wrong with Stewie?

Chris: I think he has stage fright

Brian: I think he has stage fright Peter

Chris: That's what I just said, I said that

(Stewie bursts into tears and wets himself)

Peter: (laughs) Look at Stewie

What a baby