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| From the episode: | Peter-assment |
|---|---|
| Singers: | Various children |
| Voices: | Studio singers |
Terri Schiavo: The Musical is a play created by the staff of Little Clam Pre-School. The students at Little Clam Pre-School perform it in "Peter-assment". In the play while performing the main theme "Terri Schiavo is Kind of Alive-O" Stewie Griffin gets to meet his idol Jared who had performed the role of the plug the previous three years.
It is based on the story of Terri Schiavo, who was in a vegetative state from 1990 to 2005 by undetermined means. Her husband and parents fought each other over continued life support, the latter maintaining she showed signs of recognition and her husband and doctors arguing against. The case became a lightning rod for activists regarding the right-to-life vs. quality of life. In the end, the courts awarded custody to her husband and life support was terminated resulting in her death.
Listen
Lyrics
(Equipment pumps and hums rhythmically)
Child 1 (Michael Schiavo): Hi Doctor, It's me, Michael Schiavo
How's my wife doing?
Child 2 (Doctor): She's a vegetable
Child 3 (Doctor): I hate vegetables
(laughter)
Child 2 (Doctor): Don't worry about her Mr. Schiavo
She's being kept alive by medical science.
Child 1 (Michael Schiavo): Gee, look at all this stuff
How does it all work?
Child 2 (Doctor): Well, I'll tell you
This one keeps her liver clean
This one checks her pee
Child 1 (Michael Schiavo): How about this one over here?
Child 2 (Doctor): Oh, That's just the TV
Chorus: Ha ha ha
This one checks her heart rate
This one checks her veins
And this dispenses gravy for her mashed potato brains
Chorus: Oh oh oh
Terri Schiavo is kind of alive-o
What a lively little bugger
Bass child doctor: Maybe we should just unplug her
Chorus: Terri Schiavo is kind of alive-o
The most expensive plant you'll ever see
(Backstage)
Stewie: Oh, my God, here comes Jared
Child 4: Wow, he's in kindergarten
Jared (to Stewie): Hey, so you're the plug this year?
Stewie: Yeah, I'm the plug
Jared: Yeah, I was the plug three years in a row
Stewie: Like I don't know that?
Everybody know that Jared
Jared: Well listen, don't you try to be a Jared plug, alright?
You just go on out there and be the best Stewie plug you can
Stewie: I sure will Jared!
Jared: Hey, you got any gummi bears on you?
Stewie: No
Jared: It would be a lot cooler if you did (laughs and walks away)
Stewie (to the first two boys): You know, they say don't meet your heroes
But they can eat my ass, because that was awesome!
Child 3: I don't know, don't you think it's kind of weird that he's in kindergarten
And he's still hanging around kids our age?
Stewie: We are very lucky
Oh, here I go!
Child 1 (Michael Schiavo): There's only one solution
It's in the constitution
We've got to pull the plug!
Lois: There he is
Quick Peter, grab the video camera
Peter: All right, all right
(Stewie opens his mouth and freezes)
Meg: Whats wrong with Stewie?
Chris: I think he has stage fright
Brian: I think he has stage fright Peter
Chris: That's what I just said, I said that
(Stewie bursts into tears and wets himself)
Peter: (laughs) Look at Stewie
What a baby