Olivia: Nothing, it's just, you write all the songs, you've got a better voice, you've got the sweet bod.
Stewie: Oh my God, babe.
Olivia: Plus, you've got all the cool catchphrases like "Damn you all" and "What the dude" or whatever.
Stewie: Uh, it's ... it's "Deuce", uh but yeah ... yeah ... yeah you're right. I ... I do. Does it sound through the mic like I'm saying "Dude?" Should it be "Dude?"
Quagmire: You know, you're doing a great job, Chris. Why don't you jerk the rest of the day off?
Olivia: The clock is ticking on Stewie's cuteness.
Brian: Huh. Well, I guess you're right. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if he end up looking like an exact mash-up of Lois and Peter.
[Cutaway to Stewie as an adult, looking like both Lois and Peter]
Stewie: Heh heh heh heh heh heh, groceries.
Stewie: Fine, go ahead! It's not going to be the same! Like Cheers wasn't the same when they brought in Kirstie Alley!
[Cutaway to an episode of Cheers, where "Norm" walks into the bar]
Rebecca: No, I'm ... I'm Rebecca.
Peter: Meg, do you know how to use Microsoft Excel?
Meg: Yeah, I'm actually pretty good.
Peter: Yeah, you would, dork!
[Meg leaves the table in anger]
Peter: But, I do need to make that spread sheet or I'm fired.
Lois: Oh my God! Peter, our dishwasher is full of sex toys!
Peter: Oh, yeah. Chris put those in there. It's for his job. He's working for Quagmire now.
Lois: He's washing sextoys for Quagmire?
Peter: Not just that, he also takes pictures of Quagmire's genitals and to track sore growth. So brace yourself when you open iphoto. It's on the Griffin family account.
Lois: Peter, my parents have access to that.
[Cutaway to Carter on the Griffin Family website]
Carter: What's wrong with this worm?
Lois: That's it. I'm calling Quagmire right now and putting an end to this.
[Lois calls up Quagmire on the phone]
Chris: You have reached Glenn Quagmire. Neither he nor his assistant is available. To schedule a liaison, press one. To cancel a liaison, press two. If you're calling to report a pregnancy, please fill out our online form, and we will mail you a check for $180. Thank you, a have a giggity day. [Beep]
Lois: Chris, this is your mother. Get these dildos out of the dishwasher.
[Mort is dressed in a S&M horse costume]
Mort: Well, that's what I got for horsing around.
[Peter tries to hit a baseball with a bat, but misses]
Peter: Ah, your joke wasn't funny enough.
Stewie: Hey, I wonder if she's gonna keep the band going.
Brian: Probably. She told me she was just gonna replace me with another dog.
Stewie: Yes, but who?
Brian: I don't know. Probably some dog neither you or I have ever met.
[Cutaway to Olivia in the band with Vinny]
Vinny: Alright, listen up you little pieces of garbage. This song is about getting heart-burn from baked clams and other kid stuff.