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{{EpisodeTabs/Quotes |
{{EpisodeTabs/Quotes |
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| − | |title=The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire |
+ | |title = The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire |
| − | |prev_ep=Don't Make Me Over |
+ | |prev_ep = Don't Make Me Over |
| − | |next_ep=Petarded |
+ | |next_ep = Petarded |
| − | |contents=:'''Quagmire''': Alright, I caught a fish. |
+ | |contents = :'''Quagmire''': Alright, I caught a fish. |
| − | :''[fish goes into Loretta's |
+ | :''[fish goes into Loretta's blouse]'' |
:'''Quagmire''': Oh, Sorry about that, Loretta. Hey uh, can I have my fish back? |
:'''Quagmire''': Oh, Sorry about that, Loretta. Hey uh, can I have my fish back? |
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:'''Loretta''': Awww, you're gonna have to reach in the cookie jar. |
:'''Loretta''': Awww, you're gonna have to reach in the cookie jar. |
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:'''Loretta''': You name the time and the place, little neck. |
:'''Loretta''': You name the time and the place, little neck. |
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| − | :'''Peter''': To the Hindenpeter ''[runs from the kitchen and flies Hindenpeter and crashes on Joe's garden again]'' |
+ | :'''Peter''': To the Hindenpeter! ''[runs from the kitchen and flies Hindenpeter and crashes on Joe's garden again]'' |
:'''Joe''': Oh my God! |
:'''Joe''': Oh my God! |
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:'''Peter''': Joe, I am so sorry. |
:'''Peter''': Joe, I am so sorry. |
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| Line 41: | Line 41: | ||
:'''Peter''': Loretta's in trouble! Come on boy! |
:'''Peter''': Loretta's in trouble! Come on boy! |
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:''[Peter opens the door]'' |
:''[Peter opens the door]'' |
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| − | :'''Peter''': Peter Griffin, temporary suspended CPR |
+ | :'''Peter''': Peter Griffin, temporary suspended CPR...holy crap! |
:'''Brian''': We should go. |
:'''Brian''': We should go. |
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:'''Peter''': Boy, that was embarrassing, huh? Walking in on Loretta and Cleveland having sex. |
:'''Peter''': Boy, that was embarrassing, huh? Walking in on Loretta and Cleveland having sex. |
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Revision as of 20:39, 10 July 2014
- Quagmire: Alright, I caught a fish.
- [fish goes into Loretta's blouse]
- Quagmire: Oh, Sorry about that, Loretta. Hey uh, can I have my fish back?
- Loretta: Awww, you're gonna have to reach in the cookie jar.
- Quagmire: Oh, uh, I can't just... You're my best friend's wife, ...reach in there, alright!
- Loretta: Yeah, you go in and get that. Show that fishy who's boss.
- Cleveland: Loretta, they have some of that three-bean salad you're so fond of. Hey Quagmire.
- Quagmire: Well. We'll uh, have to do this again sometime.
- Loretta: You name the time and the place, little neck.
- Peter: To the Hindenpeter! [runs from the kitchen and flies Hindenpeter and crashes on Joe's garden again]
- Joe: Oh my God!
- Peter: Joe, I am so sorry.
- Joe: How can you afford these things?
- Brian: So, they revoked your CPR card, huh?
- Peter: Yeah. I tell this is worse than when they took my library card for reading while intoxicated.
- [Peter reading while intoxicated]
- Peter: Aw, don't be ashamed of your hand, Johnny Tremain. You'll still have an exciting times. Aw crap.
- Police Officer: Sir, you know how loud you were reading?
- Peter: The life of a silversmith's apprentice was not an easy one, ahhh! [Peter crashes into a bookcase]
- [Back to the present]
- Peter: I gotta figure out some way to get that card back.
- Brian: Well, you could always take the class again. I mean, I'm sure they'll give you another card.
- [Loretta screaming]
- Brian: Hey, do you hear that?
- Peter: What?
- Brian: Sounds like someone's screaming.
- Peter: Well, what is it boy. What are you trying to say?
- Brian: It sounds like Loretta is screaming.
- Peter: Trouble at the old mill.
- Brian: What, are you insane?
- Peter: Did somebody fall through the ice?
- Brian: It's summer.
- Peter: Bobcat.
- Brian: [barking]
- Peter: Loretta's in trouble! Come on boy!
- [Peter opens the door]
- Peter: Peter Griffin, temporary suspended CPR...holy crap!
- Brian: We should go.
- Peter: Boy, that was embarrassing, huh? Walking in on Loretta and Cleveland having sex.
- Brian: Uh, Peter, that wasn't uh...
- Peter: You know, for a large heavyset black guy, Cleveland's got a cute little white ass.
- Brian: That wasn't Cleveland. It was some white guy.
- [Inside, Quagmire sits up]
- Quagmire: What was that?
- Loretta: Shut up and put some more of that sugar in my bowl.
- Quagmire: [voiceover] Oh, God, I'm screwed! This is worse than the time I had to fess up to the nation.
- [cut to Quagmire as Bill Clinton]
- Quagmire: My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gigoogity that girl. I geschmoigiddied her geflavaty with my googus, and I am sorry.
- Cleveland: Loretta, is it true what they're saying? Were you really having carnal relations with another gentleman?
- Loretta: I'm a woman, Cleveland! I need some passion in my life! I need a real man, and Lord knows that ain't you!
- Cleveland: Well, I admit after a long day at work, I don't always come home with that "Reuniti on Ice, That's Nice" mentality. And for that, I apologize.
- Loretta: Apologize?! I cheat on you, and you apologize to me?!! Cleveland Brown, you are pathetic!
- Cleveland: I disagree, but I respect your condor.
- Loretta: [pushing Cleveland out the door] Good-bye, Cleveland!
- Cleveland: I love you.
- Peter: Cleveland, I think this beautiful woman would like to say something to you.
- Loretta: You told me this was Lois' intervention!
- Peter: Nice. Cleveland?
- Cleveland: Loretta, what you did was unforgivable. This marriage is over.
- Loretta: Well, that's just fine, Cleveland, 'cause I am through being your wife.
- Cleveland: Well, I may not be perfect, but I deserve better than you.
- Peter: Look at that, Lois. As beautiful as an HBO minority fairy tale.
- Peter: All right, Cleveland. If this doesn't light a fire in your belly, nothin' will.
- [He puts on a Quagmire mask]
- Peter: Hey! Look at me! I'm Quagmire. I had sex with your wife. Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity!
- [Cleveland laughs]
- Cleveland: Those are so his mannerisms. [laughs]
- Brian: Peter, what the hell are you doing?
- Peter: I'm not Peter. I'm Quagmire. And I'm doin' you, Loretta.
- [he puts a Loretta mask on Brian]
- Brian: What the hell?
- [the two act out Quagmire having sex with Loretta; much to Cleveland's anger; Cleveland growls, grabs the Quagmire mask, and splits it in half]
- Cleveland: Glenn Quagmire, YOU'RE DEAD!! ["Popeye" theme music begins to play as Cleveland eats a can of spinach Popeye style. Steam proceeds to blow out of Cleveland's ears. Cleveland begins to storm towards the door]
- Peter: All right, all right, calm down, Cleveland.
- Cleveland: I'm gonna kill Quagmire! [panting]
- Peter: Oh God, you're hyperventilating! Chris, get me a bag. [Chris hands Peter a plastic bag]
- Cleveland: [panting]
- Peter: Okay, Cleveland, breathe into the bag. It'll calm you down. [Peter places the bag over Cleveland's head]
- Lois: Peter, I'm not sure that that's... [Cleveland begins grasping for air]
- Peter: Not now, Lois. Okay, Cl-Cl... Okay, Cl...Cleveland, Cleveland, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax. There you go. There you go. Okay, shh, shh-shh-shh-shh. It's okay, it's okay. It's all gonna be okay. [Cleveland lays on the ground, unconscious]
- Lois: Peter, you better do your CPR.
- Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick, Joe, kick!
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