[Peter leads the family in prayer]
Peter: Dear God, it's the Griffins. Again, we're very sorry we cyber-bullied that girl to death, but we still want a snowmobile. Today though, please let there be money in our bank account. Amen
Family: Amen.

Lois: This is serious. We need to think about our kids' education. Of course, it's already too late for Meg to go to college and Chris is too dumb to get in anywhere.
Chris: YAAAAAAY!!!
Stewie: No, Chris. Not Yay.

[Lois clears mucus out of her throat at the table]
Stewie: Hey, don't fill up on that. We've got breakfast coming.

Peter: Hey Lois, check out what I found with my metal detector.
[Empties a bag full of Purple Hearts]
Lois: Are those...are those Purple Hearts?
Peter: Yeah, some idiot buried like a hundred of them in this big lawn underneath bone cages.
Lois: Peter! I think you desecrated a military graveyard!

Peter: Go, crappy car, go!

[Jake Tucker is auditioning for the commercial]
Bob: That was really great, Jake. Really, really great. Your face is upside down, so we're not going to pick you, but that was really great.

Meg: Hey, what's dad doing over there with Chris?
Lois: Oh, he's telling him that he's no longer his favorite son.
[Peter is seen talking to Chris in a mall store]
Chris: NOOOOO! NO! DADDY! No Daddy! Daddy!
[Chris starts beating Peter senseless and smashes him through the glass window]
Peter: I didn't even tell him. He just does not like to be touched.

[Peter is at the September 11th memorial museum with Lois]
Peter: Lois made us do this, but I wanted to go to the Central Park Merry-Go-Round.
[Peter and Lois are riding on the Merry-Go-Round with Lois]
Peter: We had time to do both!

Brian: Peter! You're giving your baby drugs to prove his acting career?
Peter: Oh, he's fine with it. Stewie, if you're fine with it, bleed from the nose.
[Stewie bleeds out of his eye]
Peter: I think that's pretty close.

Lois: Peter, did you get my text?
Peter: No, let me check.
[Peter reads Lois' text and looks at Brian]
Peter: No, I don't know what he's doing here.

Peter: You know, I was once a very famous baby.
Lois: Were you, Peter?
Peter: No, but you see how easy it is for me to lie to you? I do it every day.

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