- [Cassandra leads Brian and Stewie back to her tent for a three-way]
- Stewie: Alright, let's lay some ground rules here. You take her left side, I'll take her right.
- Brian: What? , Uh, how about top and bottom or front and back?
- Stewie: How about I take head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes?
- Brian: Ok, you can have those.
- Stewie: You just gave away the store mister.
- Dr. Finklestein: [discovers cash in the dead man's billfold] It's a five! A five!
- Stewie: You've never gotten an award.
- Brian: Uh, what's that bowl that says "good boy"?
- Stewie: You know; that was our old dog's dish.
- Peter: Tell us fast about your nonsense so I can plow your mother on the staircase.
- Evan: You got 35,000 views in one night, and none of them got past the fourth picture.
- Meg: What does that mean? Oh.
- Peter: What the hell? There's an animated version of you and me doing it. Who put that in there?
- Brian: People keep passing out and barfing, and that barf is, like, free to take.
- [In a flashback to Meg's birth]
- Dr. Hartman: Mr. Griffin, would you like to cut the cord?
- Peter: Sure. [Does so]
- Dr. Hartman: Ok, that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl.
- Brian: Stewie, would you like your food served to you as an airplane or a magic bus?
- Brian: Stewie still screams, "What's happening?" when he gets an erection.
- [Cassandra takes off her dress]
- Stewie: AAAHH! What's happening?
- Quagmire: Sorry. Joe's Wi-Fi is really slow today.
- Peter: I know; it's the worst. We also use his cable TV. I like Joe.
- Quagmire: Here we go. Oh, it's a busy night. There's a black-Thai event. That's all black and Thai chicks.
- Joe: Peter, we've got a problem. Somehow, my foot got pregnant watching Tower Heist.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// This Little Piggy's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 12 | Family Guy Season 13 | Season 14 >> | |||||||||
| #01 | The Simpsons Guy | #07 | Stewie, Chris & Brian's Excellent Adventure | #13 | Dr. C & The Women | ||||||
| #02 | The Book of Joe | #08 | Our Idiot Brian | #14 | #JOLO | ||||||
| #03 | Baking Bad | #09 | This Little Piggy | #15 | Once Bitten | ||||||
| #04 | Brian the Closer | #10 | Quagmire's Mom | #16 | Roasted Guy | ||||||
| #05 | Turkey Guys | #11 | Encyclopedia Griffin | #17 | Fighting Irish | ||||||
| #06 | The 2000-Year-Old Virgin | #12 | Stewie Is Enceinte | #18 | Take My Wife |
| |||||