Cleveland: Joe, what are you eating your ice cream out of?
Joe: They ran out of those mini batting helmets, so they're serving it in athletic cups.

Peter: I'm using the ladies' room. How bad could it be?
[Peter goes into the ladies' room, a girlish scream is heard, and Peter exits]
Peter: I saw a mouse.

Guy: Buddy, if you really gotta go, you can use that one.
[Guy directs Peter to the transgender bathroom, with transgender symbol on it]
Peter: A bathroom for Prince?

Sheila: Good morning, Peter. We saw the game last night, and well, we just want you to know, that we wholeheartedly support all transgender people.
Peter: But, I'm not ...
Bert: Peter, before you say anything that might clear all this up, let me tell you about our stellar transgender employee package.
Peter: Benefits? I'm trans-listening.

Peter: Hey, what is transgender, anyway? Is that the stuff in potato chips that makes your bum go bam?

[Peter shows up, wearing a wedding dress]
Cleveland: Look Peter, the good news is, you still fit in your wife's wedding gown. Not every guy can say that.
Peter: It's actually Meg's. She commits murders in it.

[Peter, now identifying as a woman, goes to visit Joe]
Peter: I just wanted to tell you that I'm the one, who planted the evidence, that got you suspended.
Joe: [infuriated] WHAT!? I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!
Peter: Uh-uh-uh, woman.
Joe: Oh, right.
Bonnie: [offscreen] Joe, close the door, you're letting the bugs in!
Joe: Is your daughter still killing people?

[Peter wakes up from a coma]
Peter: Wha ... What happened?
Dr. Hartman: Ah, I knew you'd catch it. I'm parting my hair on the other side now.

[Bert and Sheila show up in the hospital, when Peter wakes up]
Bert: Oh, Peter. Thank God you're okay.
Peter: Hello, bosses and not my family.

Jeff Slater: That is one nutty hospital.

Peter: Thank you for showing my the 90 things women have to do before bed.

[Meg enters, wearing a dress, holding a knife, and covered in blood]
Meg: What. a. day.

Brian: Oh, Peter. You started a Kickstarter.
Peter: Not exactly.
[The screen of the website is shown, with the first letter of the title, being covered by Ida's boob]
Brian: Oh, that's...that's not a K.

Ida: Look at that! You're up to six inches! That's two inches past your goal!

Chris: Dad, you lost a wiener, but came out a winner!

Peter: Well, that does it for our crossover episode. Thanks for coming, cast of Bob's Burgers.
[The Belcher Family shows up in the living room]
Bob: We didn't get to do anything.
Peter: Show's 22 minutes long. Not everything makes it to air, but hey, you have the floor of there's something hilarious you wanna say. I'll just sit here and be quiet. Give us two Emmys worth of amazing. Maybe a funny burger name? No? Girl in the bunny ears? Boy, I love it, when characters are expressed by props.
Bob: I kinda feel like this is less of a crossover and more of a roast?
Peter: No, a roast is good-natured.

Guy: Excuse me, ma'am, could you direct me to Earth's reserve of near empty tuna tins?
Woman: Are you a space cat?
[Cutaway to space cats, watching them from a screen]
Space Cat: He's been made!

Lois: Peter, pretending to be transgender to get off work, trivializes a real struggle in this country.
Peter: Did the ... did the space cats get to you?
Lois: I don't know what that is, but you gotta knock this off ... and direct me to Earth's reserve of sun-dappled window seats.

Peter: How does Rebel Wilson always look so fetching?
Stewie: Does she, though?
Chris: You could be too, if you just let your hair down a little.
[Chris helps Peter let his hair down]
Chris: Now you just take that beautiful hair down to the salon, and you'll be a ten.
Stewie: On a scale of a billion?

Peter: Thanks Chris, thanks for helping me at 11:30 on a school day.
Chris: There was a shooting.

Brian: You know, I've always been a great supporter of the LGBLT.
Stewie: Nope.
Brian: LGTE.
Stewie: No.
Brian: GED.
Stewie: Unrelated.
Brian: LIE.
Stewie: The Long Island Expressway?
Brian: NKOTB.
Stewie: The wrong stuff, Brian.
Brian: WNBA?
Stewie: Yes ... yes, WNBA.

Meg: Mom, you know, our world today is filled with people like dad, trying to find their identities. Whether it's cutters, or people who cut themselves, or people who drag knives across their thighs to feel something.

Lois: You can just read on an impossibly bright I-pad, while I toss and turn in a pissy way.
[Peter reads his I-pad in bed, while Lois tries to sleep]
Lois: You almost done with the chapter?
Peter: Oh, there's no chapters. It's a Clifford book.
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