Stewie: That's like the fourth person, who's called Meg, Chris Christie.
Host: Later, we're all wiping our ass with the constitution.
[Cutaway to Brian in the writing room]
Brian: Hi, Brian Griffin. They let me write some of the liberal jokes. How you liking them? Good, there's more coming.
Meg: Is everything okay?
Ivanka: Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry to be out of sorts. I just ... Sometimes I wish I could meet someone else, who's dad is a fat idiot, who once had a hit television show and who, overtime, has worn out his welcome.
Tiffany: You know, Meg's dad is also ...
Ivanka: Shut up, Tiffany.
Meg: Yeah, shut up, Tiffany.
Ivanka: Meg, I think you'd look amazing in my brand of lifestyle products, that are designed to represent a poor person's idea of what a rich person would wear.
Brian: Stewie, where have you been?
[Russian guy enters, dressed as Stewie]
Russian Guy: Oh, many American baby things, am I doing. So, what is your favorite ballistic missile launch codes?
Random Guy: With Geico, you can save up to 15% on car insurance.
Ivanka: I've gotta run, dad. Thanks again for getting me plastic surgery in my teens.
[Donald Trump grabs Meg by the pussy]
Meg: Oh my God!
Trump: Oh, please. Every president since Washington has done this.
[Pictures of the presidents are shown on the wall, with their voice overs, writing letters to their wives]
George Washington: Dearest Martha, I can not wait to once again, place my hands onto your Gates of Venus.
Harry Truman: My darling Bess, tonight, I'm going to drop the big one onto your Pacific Theater.
George H.W. Bush: Hey, Barbara Bush, working late, sleeping in office, crazy headache, you look like my mom.
Peter: You want me to just throw away in one day, what I've spent a whole day trying to build? A whole day's worth of work, poof! Gone in a day!
Lois: Meg, you expect us to believe that The President of The United States would grab a woman by her pussy? That's ridiculous!
Chris: Oh my God! Bob's Burgers is on! This show speaks to us young people, apparently!
Peter: That show, and ... and I mean no disrespect, when I say this, but that show looks like it was animated in a moving car.
Trump: When you walked through that door, you insulted Bob's Burgers and the hundreds of people, who work there.
Peter: Well, I was just kidding around.
Trump: No you weren't. You're just jealous, cuz it wins all the Emmys and the kids love it.
Peter: You seem to know a lot about Bob's Burgers.
Trump: Of course I do. Bob's Burgers is my favorite animated show.
Peter: [breaking the fourth wall] Wow. There's your headline, Emmy voters. Vote your conscience.