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Greetings...I assume you will all know me by my username rather than my real name, so I won't even bother providing that. Note that I also don't want any of you perves looking me up and raping me in my sleep--or anything else you perves have probably tried on your mothers. Mainly, though, I'm not telling you my name because you probably, to be frank, don't really give a shit.

I enjoy long walks on the beach, candle-lit dinners, and watching merciless serial killers mutilate defenseless babies while listening to Slayer records on repeat (but only on Wednesdays). I also enjoy raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles, warm woolen mittens, and brown paper packages tied up with strings.

Some people tell me I look a lot like Rick James.

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