- Brian: Wow Derek, that's pretty good French you speak there.
- Jillian: He also speaks Orange.
- Derek: Mandarin, honey.
- Jillian: Mandolin.
- Stewie: [to Lauren Conrad] Do you need a gay friend on the show-a friend on the show?
- Stewie: [wearing flamboyant hat] What’s everyone looking at? The salesman told me it was unisex.
- Derek: Excuse me, I'm just going to use the restroom really quick.
- Brian: I'll go with you.
- Stewie: Oh, my God, gay!
- Brian: Shut up! He's obviously some sort of Superman. I just...I just need to know if he has any shortcomings. It'll make me feel better.
- Stewie: You are not even- You're going in there to look, that's even gayer!
- [Brian and Derek enter the restroom]
- Brian: [from inside the restroom] Oh, come on!
- Lois: Well, Lauren, it's a real pleasure having you here for dinner. Of course I'm sure this isn't as excitin' as your usual cuisine, you know all that caviar with the little silver spoons.
- Lauren: Actually, Mrs. Griffin, caviar spoons are carved from bone. They don't use metal because they react chemically with the fish eggs and changes their taste.
- Lois: Oh, that's fascinatin'. You coulda just complimented the free food but one upping me is another the way to go.
- Brian: So you know guys...
- Lois: Bitch!
- Stewie: [on the phone] Oh, hey, Lee! No, it’s not a bad time. Yeah I still have those boots. Well, maybe I’ll wear ‘em, maybe I won’t.
- [Brian is annoyed after being corrected by Lauren]
- Brian: Thank you, Lauren
- Brian: Hey, blondie, do you want to get with my dogwood?
- Jimmy Fallon: I mean, it's a little weird, isn't it? This new Lauren Conrad relationship? When asked about their sex life, Brian was quoted as saying: "Oh, yeah. We just do it me style."
- Craig Ferguson: Have you seen the news about Lauren Conrad and Brian Griffin? You know, a lot of these young Hollywood girls carry their little dogs around in their purse. But Lauren carries one...in her pants.
- Jay Leno: Yeah, so Lauren Conrad and Brian Griffin are now a couple. Apparently, she gave that dog a bone, and...he gave it right back!
- Brian: This doesn't make any sense. If you're so smart, why do you hide it?
- Lauren: Come on, Brian. You know America doesn't like smart people. I mean, they elected Bush twice.
- Brian: Yeah, once. So this whole persona is a publicity stunt?
- Lauren: Publicity is what keeps this franchise running, Brian. We're even using state-of-the-art computer animation to create a fake sex tape with me and Bill Cosby.
- [Cutaway to the tape, showing Lauren in bed and Bill Cosby taking his clothes off]
- Bill Cosby: Now, you will get ready for the zim-zam and the babbity-bibbity! And you will take your clothes off like thoo and thoom! And get ready for the most splendiferouos pudding-pop you have ever seen!
- Stewie: So did you break up with Lauren?
- Brian: No, I didn't. As a matter of fact, she's coming over for dinner tonight.
- Stewie: [high pitched] Say whaaaaaaa?!
- Peter: Alright, Jillian. Since I'm giving you away on your wedding day, I wanna make sure it all goes off without a hitch. Now what are your thoughts on a wedding singer?
- Jillian: Oh, I thought that maybe I would just deejay the wedding myself. I already started making a playlist on this.
- Peter: A box of Junior Mints?
- Jillian: This isn't an iPod?
- Peter: Your Junior Mints play MP3s?
- Jillian: My iPod is chocolate?
- Peter: Well, be that as it may or not be that, I was thinking I could be your wedding singer.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// We Love You, Conrad's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 6 | Family Guy Season 7 | Season 8 >> | ||||||
| #01 | Love, Blactually | #07 | Ocean's Three and a Half | #13 | Stew-Roids | |||
| #02 | I Dream of Jesus | #08 | Family Gay | #14 | We Love You, Conrad | |||
| #03 | Road to Germany | #09 | The Juice Is Loose | #15 | Three Kings | |||
| #04 | Baby Not On Board | #10 | FOX-y Lady | #16 | Peter's Progress | |||
| #05 | The Man with Two Brians | #11 | Not All Dogs Go To Heaven | |||||
| #06 | Tales of a Third Grade Nothing | #12 | 420 | |||||