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| From the episode: | The 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards |
|---|---|
| Singers: | Brian & Stewie Griffin |
| Voices: | Seth MacFarlane |
"You Can Find It on TV" is a musical number opening the 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards sung by Brian and Stewie Griffin. It uses the very same tune as "The FCC Song", which, in turn, uses the same tune as "Volunteer Firemen Picnic," which comes from the Broadway musical Take Me Along with Jackie Gleason.
Lyrics
- Stewie: You know, Brian, we are privileged to live in this particular age of television programming.
- Brian: Really? You think so? Seems to me that nearly all television these days is complete trash.
- Stewie: Yes, quite right. But never before in history have we had such a wide selection of trash.
- Brian: Yeah, I guess you're right.
- Stewie: Of course I'm right! For example...
- [Music begins]
- Stewie: You've got mega hits like Idol where Sanjaya took his bow
- Brian: Just a little boy from India who made us all say wow
- Stewie: With a voice that makes you wanna just go out and kill a cow
- Together: Here's the plain situation
- A simple declaration
- If you want it you can find it on TV
- Brian: You've got "Scrubs" on NBC in season seven-and-a-half
- With the antics of the loveable and talented Zach Braff
- Stewie: Who reminds us that a sitcom doesn't have to make you laugh
- Together: You can try to deny it
- But we can certify it
- If you want it you can find it on TV
- Brian: And if you start to crave a brand new TV thrill
- They're always brewing up some brand new primetime swill
- Stewie: Like the GEICO Cavemen
- Brian: CBS was once a network that was reverent and clean
- But today they've got some shows that are remarkably obscene
- Stewie: Like the show about a little boy who lives with Charlie Sheen
- Together: Oh, there ain't nothing to it
- You click it on and view it
- If you want it you can find it on TV
- [Music fades into background]
- Brian: You know, I think I'm gettin' the idea, Stewie.
- Stewie: Ahh? You see?
- Brian: Absolutely! Hey, how 'bout this?
- [Music kicks in again]
- Brian: ABC has got a lineup that's refreshing and alive
- With its hits like "Desperate Housewives" just continuing to thrive
- Stewie: And those women look sensational for being sixty-five!
- Together: No we won't over-sell ya
- We merely wanna tell ya
- If you want it you can find it on TV
- Brian: Now, the Peacock's having trouble simply staying in the race
- So I hear they're bringing "Seinfeld" back to save a little face
- Stewie: And I hear Isaiah Washington is taking Kramer's place?
- Together: Oh, you may not adore it
- But boy you can't ignore it
- If you want it you can find it on TV
- Brian: Now "The Sopranos" is a show I'd recommend
- Stewie: Because you never know just how it's gonna... [Music cuts out, screen goes black]
- [Music and video returns]
- Brian: So to sum up the philosophy on which we're both agreed
- All the garbage on the airwaves is a vital thing indeed
- Stewie: Cause without it then Americans would have to learn to read
- Together: And so up with the curtain
- It's absolutely certain
- If you want it you can find it on TV
Notes
- The 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards aired on FOX on a Sunday night, and Family Guy was pre-empted.
- During the song, they call Sanjaya Malakar a little boy from India. While he is of Indian descent, Malakar was actually born in Washington state.
- The joke about The Sopranos being unpredictable to end comes from the controversial final moment of the series finale.